Moments in the life of a Pastor

Walking with God

27. Loving or Lusting – Part 1

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Exodus 20:14

You must not commit adultery.

Genesis 2:18,22-24; 3:20;

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.23 “At last!” the man exclaimed.“This one is bone from my bone, and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’”24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.20 Then the man—Adam—named his wife Eve, because she would be the mother of all who live.

As we continue in our series “Relationship not Rules” we come to the seventh command “You must not commit adultery.” Again, the reason for this command revolves around relationship, adultery destroys marriage because it trashes trust which is the foundation of relationship. When we don’t trust each other, we cannot pursue God’s primary purpose for marriage which is to partner together. Without trust there is no team. Why do we experience the failure of an affair because many of us are making marriage about me not we. It’s here as we look at God’s blue print for marriage that we see the antidote to adultery. My prayer is for those who have experienced the pain of unfaithfulness that God would heal not just your hurts but your hearts, and that in this area of marriage we would submit to God’s Word and not our wants. It’s here first that we see the:

  1. Purpose for Marriage

In our marriages many of us are experiencing a mess instead of God’s masterpiece because we are listening to the world instead of God’s Word. As a result, we are making me the purpose for marriage instead of we, Husband wife and God. Our society has made the sole focus of relationship sex and we have become inundated with messages about sex that run contrary to God’s 7th commandment “You shall not commit adultery.” Our divorce rate and the number of married couples in counseling over extra marital affairs has never been higher. Couples celebrating 50 years of marriage today has become a miracle instead of the norm. Why because we are letting Hollywood instead of God’s Holy Word set the standard. It’s time to turn of Hollywood and turn to the truth and what is holy. We have become disillusioned with marriage because we have followed the advice of our culture instead of Christ and we are trying to use it as the vehicle to self-happiness instead of service and holiness. So, what is God’s purpose for marriage? Genesis 2 reveals that part of God’s plan involves:

2. Partnership

To experience a healthy marriage, you need a holy marriage which means understanding God’s purpose for marriage. It’s here in Genesis that we discover not only God’s 3 purposes but their particular order. The first of these elements is “partnership”. It’s important to note that prior to Eve, Adam was busy tending the garden. Adam was productive without Eve, but he wasn’t complete without Eve! So, when God looked at Adam and said it was “not good for the man to be alone I will make a helper that is just right for him”He wasn’t talking about a worker but a partner. Partnership in marriage involves more than just working, it has to do with worship and witnessing. Many of us make our marriages about economics and cash instead of emotional connection. Partnering for the purpose of paying the bills or getting the chores done will never lead to a satisfying marriage. This is the only relationship where 2 become one. God’s purpose in partnership is for 1+1=1. It’s a call to replace selfishness with selflessness, to die to self so that we can live to serve. Most adultery occurs form dissatisfaction and a desire to feel good whether that is emotionally or physically. But why are we dissatisfied? Most of the time it’s because we have been making the purpose of our marriage self and our happiness. Why do I say the primary purpose is partnership, well notice here that when Eve is created there is nothing said at the beginning about her existence to make babies. She was made first and foremost to be Adam’s “suitable helper” (2:18) which in the Hebrew means “a counterpart” or “partner” of equal value! God’s call for having dominion over all the Earth was given to them both, (1:28) not just Adam, they were equal partners. Eve was different in function and roles, not less in value. God’s purpose for marriage was clear from the beginning, one woman for one man for life. God made no other women for Adam nor any other men for Eve. In many ways Adam and Eve had the world’s only perfect marriage. She couldn’t talk about the man she might have married, and he couldn’t complain that his mother was a better cook! In a world that changes partners or fails to cement a relationship with the commitment of marriage in favor of simply living together, the purpose of marriage as God intended cannot take place! Every attempt by society to alter God’s intended purposes in marriage has proven to be a step backward and not one forward. Though the voices in our culture laugh at and go against a Biblical sexual ethic, the evidence proves society wrong and scripture right and true. The truth is trial marriages do not increase the chance of a marriage lasting or being successful. In fact, those who live together before marriage, separate and divorce in significantly greater numbers than those who go directly to the altar. A good marriage is one built first on “partnership,” both with each other and with God. A partnership that mirrors God’s image. Your marriage is your greatest ministry because through your marriage you get to reflect God’s attributes, His love, faithfulness, forgiveness commitment. God hates divorce because it reflects death. Unfaithfulness doesn’t reflect God it reflects greed. So, let me ask you, in your marriage you are you partnering together for God’s purposes?


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