Moments in the life of a Pastor

Walking with God


by Leave a comment

What is Success?

When Jensen Huang acknowledged that he had been unfaithful to his wife and later resigned as Nvidia’s CEO, much of the public attention turned to the future of the company. I found myself thinking about a question that can linger for a family long after the headlines fade. How do you learn to trust the word of someone whose word once made you feel safe?

We know how to calculate what a leader’s departure costs shareholders. There’s no balance sheet for what a broken promise costs a marriage. And a company can keep posting record profits while a family is living with the consequences of choices the market will never have to reckon with.

That’s the contradiction I can’t get past. I can be celebrated at work for keeping my commitments while my spouse is learning that my word at home can’t be trusted. I can give people at work my patience, attention, and best judgment, then come home expecting the people I love to make do with whatever I have left. And if work keeps rewarding me, how long might I go on calling that a successful life?

The market has its questions. Scripture puts others before us.

  • The market asks, How much did the company gain under my leadership? Jesus’ words make me ask, What have I been willing to lose in myself to keep gaining, and would I recognize the loss while everyone is still congratulating me? (Mark 8:36)
  • Investors ask, Can we trust this leader to keep his promises to us? Scripture makes me ask, Can my spouse trust me to keep the promises I made at our wedding when we’re apart? (Psalm 15:4)
  • The world asks, How many people have I influenced? Jesus’ command to love my neighbor makes me ask, Who gets the most patient, attentive version of me? What would the people who live with me say? (Mark 12:31)
  • The market asks, Which relationships will open doors for me? Jesus makes me ask, Who has been waiting for me to stop and see them while I’ve been busy getting somewhere? (Luke 10:30–37)
  • The market asks, Can I afford to lose this opportunity? Jesus makes me ask, What opportunity would I willingly let pass to keep a promise to someone I love? (Matthew 5:37)
  • I ask, How much wealth will I leave my family? Paul’s words make me ask, When my family gathers after I’m gone, what stories will they tell about how I loved them? What story could I give them this week? (1 Corinthians 13:1–3)
  • The market asks, What will my work be worth when I’m gone? Jesus makes me ask, Who will have known something of God’s love because of the way I loved them while I was here? (John 13:34–35)

If a colleague tells me I’ve let them down, I know to take it seriously. When my spouse tells me the same thing, do I listen with that kind of urgency? Or do I explain how much pressure I’m under and expect them to understand? Why would I work so hard to earn the confidence of people who could replace me and take for granted the trust of someone who has chosen to share a life with me?

Character takes shape in choices that may never become public. It grows when I honor a promise long after the moment I made it, when I tell the truth at a cost to myself, and when I give the people closest to me the attention I so readily give to people I hope to impress.

  • If my spouse described who I am at home, how closely would it resemble the person others admire at work?
  • Whose disappointment have I learned to live with because I’m confident they’ll still be there tomorrow?
  • What have I given myself permission to do in private that would change how people trust me if they knew?
  • What would the people I love say my ambition has cost them? Have I ever been willing to hear their answer without defending myself?

Jesus asked, “What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?” (Mark 8:36). We tend to imagine forfeiting our souls in one dramatic decision. How often does it begin with a compromise we excuse because life is going so well?

Money can keep a roof over our heads, pay for care when we’re sick, and give us room to breathe when life takes an unexpected turn. Providing those things can be an act of love. Money can secure the house we live in. Character is what makes it safe to trust the person we share it with.

That deeper security comes from knowing the person who chose you on your wedding day still chooses you, over and over. You can go through a hard season together without wondering whether they’re giving their affection to someone else in secret. You can trust that the promises they keep when you’re together are the same ones they keep when you’re apart. That peace comes from years of seeing their choices match their word.

I may know what it takes for my spouse to feel financially secure. Have I ever asked what it takes for my spouse to feel secure with me? What have my choices this week given them reason to believe about my love and my loyalty?

What inheritance am I leaving my family? Will they inherit only what I earned, or will they also inherit a way of living worth passing on?

My children are already receiving part of their inheritance. They see what makes me put my phone down, which commitments I rearrange my day to keep, and whether I apologize when I’ve hurt someone. What I repeatedly prioritize teaches them what deserves their attention. What I repeatedly excuse teaches them what they should tolerate, both in themselves and in the people they love.

If my children watch me make time for anyone whose opinion matters to my work while asking my spouse to wait, what will they learn about whose needs matter in a marriage? If they see me own a failure, make amends, and keep showing up after the apology, they’ll have an example of what it takes to repair trust. If my children someday receive from their spouse the kind of love they’ve watched me give mine, how would I feel about the marriage they’re in?

Imagine reaching the end of your life and being given one ordinary evening back. Who would you want at the table? What would you finally say to the person you kept assuming you’d have more time with?

At the end of my life, I hope the people I love remember that I worked to give them a good life. I hope they remember how much I wanted to share that life with them. And I hope my spouse can look back and say, I knew I was chosen. I could trust that, even when we were apart.

If I reach the end of my life and the people at work tell me how much I accomplished, but the people at home tell me how much they missed me, whose words will I wish I had listened to sooner?


by Leave a comment

45 Teaming Together – Part 1

Colossians 4:7-18

7 Tychicus will tell you all the news about me. He is a dear brother, a faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord. 8 I am sending him to you for the express purpose that you may know about our circumstances and that he may encourage your hearts. 9 He is coming with Onesimus, our faithful and dear brother, who is one of you. They will tell you everything that is happening here. 10 My fellow prisoner Aristarchus sends you his greetings, as does Mark, the cousin of Barnabas. (You have received instructions about him; if he comes to you, welcome him.)11 Jesus, who is called Justus, also sends greetings. These are the only Jews among my co-workers for the kingdom of God, and they have proved a comfort to me. 12 Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings. He is always wrestling in prayer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured. 13 I vouch for him that he is working hard for you and for those at Laodicea and Hierapolis. 14 Our dear friend Luke, the doctor, and Demas send greetings. 15 Give my greetings to the brothers and sisters at Laodicea, and to Nympha and the church in her house.16 After this letter has been read to you, see that it is also read in the church of the Laodiceans and that you in turn read the letter from Laodicea. 17 Tell Archippus: “See to it that you complete the ministry you have received in the Lord.” 18 I, Paul, write this greeting in my own hand. Remember my chains. Grace be with you.

As we conclude our time in Colossians Paul reminds us of the continued need to live in the power of the new life. Paul has called us to take the power of the new life to all people, first our family, then those far from the Father the lost and then our friends. Paul reminds us that our faith should affect our friendships. Instead of self we need serving together. We need to recognize that we were built for relationship. We really do need each other, we are members of one body. We often operate as if God created us to be independent instead interdependent.

1. The church was created to be a community – Paul did not operate alone. Paul mentions over 100 people by name in his New Testament letters! In Romans 16 alone, there are 26 people listed. Here, in Colossians 4, he mentions 10 individuals. Paul was definitely not a lone ranger, but functioned as a member of a team.

2. Friendships forge – As we live out the supremacy of the Savior in our lives, it should impact as we interacted with others. Proverbs 27:17: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Together we temper and toughen each other.

3. People are more important than programs. It’s important for us to remember that ministry always flows along relational rivers.

4. We need the differences of diversity – We act like differences detract yet others often have strengths in areas we are weak.

Five Groups

As Paul closes his letter to the church at Colosse, he mentions several different groups as we look at each group ask yourself which category you would put yourself in. What type of friend are you?

· Those that are Faithful

· Those that are Fervent

· Those that Finish

· Those who Falling Away

· And those who are Forgiven