Colossians 3:18-4:1

18 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. 20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. 22 Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, 24 since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. 25 Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism. 4 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

1. God’s Principles for Parenting

Next, Paul addresses the relationship between children and parents

A. Children are charged to Obey

“Children, always obey your parents for this pleases the Lord.” This means to listen to your parents and obey them most of the time, wait all the time. The verb here is in the present tense, indicating that such action is to be habitual and ongoing. What does obeying do? First it pleases The Lord. Second it puts us in an environment of growth and learning. Obedience provides promises: the 5th Commandment, according to Ephesians 6:3, carries with it a promise: “That it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” Obedience brings God’s promise and pleasure. We say that we want a blessed life but be buck God’s ways.

In 1 Samuel 15:22-23, God puts rebellion on a par with witchcraft and idolatry. Because of the ramifications of disobedience and the blessings of obedience, parents must take seriously the task of training children to obey. We need to be engaged and encouraging, but we must also expect obedience from our children. That’s why Colossians 3:21 gives fathers an awesome responsibility: “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” In the Old Testament, Joshua was strong in his resolve for his family to serve the Lord (Joshua 24:14-15). Eli, on the other hand, was condemned because of his failure to restrain his sons (1 Samuel 3:11-14).

B. Fathers are Warned against abuse of Authority

While Paul uses the word “fathers” here to show the strategic role that dads play in parenting, the Greek word certainly includes mothers as well. I think one reason Paul points to fathers is because dads can be dictators. The danger we are to avoid as dads is discouragement, where our kids lose heart and give up.

We don’t have the time to discuss all the things that can lead to our kids discouragement but here are 4

·      Ignore them. A father who has no time for his children soon creates within them a deep-seated resentment. Have you ever noticed how often kids say look at me, they need our time. Children that grow up alone are alienated they feel unloved and unaccepted and may end up looking elsewhere to have their needs met.

·      Indulge them. As a society in our quest to make everything bigger and better for our kids we have given them everything they want and nothing they need. Everything leads to entitlement and indulgence leads to insolence. Often we indulge because we ignore. When parents forgo their roles it leads to restlessness and dissatisfaction.

·       Insult them. Some dads like to criticize their kids and even call them names. Sarcasm leads  to scaring and ridicule reduces relationship.

·      Intimidate them. Threats and unfair expectations can filet self-esteem.

Fellow fathers, we must love and lead our kids into obedience not lord it. Are you making it as easy as possible for our kids to obey.

1. Are you living under the Lords leadership and modeling obedience.

2. Do you see your kids as God’s gifts then be gentle

3. Have you partnered with God to discover and release who God created them to be.

4. Do you applaud them apart from their performance

5. Do they feel like you are on their side, for them not against them?

Ask your kids this week what one thing you’ve been doing that causes them to be exasperated. Get alone with each child, relationships reaffirm love.

Colossians 3:18-4:1 

¹⁸ Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. ¹⁹ Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. ²⁰ Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. ²¹ Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. ²² Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. ²³ Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, ²⁴ since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. ²⁵ Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism. 4 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

Paul has taught us about living in the power of the new life where we put off the past and put on God’s provision. The Christian life is not about removing but replacing, it’s not about rules but relationship. Transformation comes from spending time with and trusting God. Often when people read this passage of scripture they end up getting mad but before we dismiss it let’s look at what Paul is really saying. Our faith must follow us, the true test of our relationship with Christ is how we relate to others. Real transformation with Jesus will translate into our relationships. Often when we read these verses we see ruling not relationship, Wife submit, Children obey, slave serve! But there are 2 things we must remember about God’s call prior to these commands 

1. Remember your POSITION in Christ, we are “God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved.” Position should provide a positive impact in people’s lives. Relationships reveal our position in Christ or our pursuit of power. 

2. Remember God’s PROVISION – If God’s clothes are clinging to us then that is what we carry into our relationships, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness and love. God’s garments reveal grace and good. Relationships reveal God’s provision or our poison! 

 Jesus is referred to as “Lord” or “Master” seven times in these verses, His lordship is expressed in the day-by-day, routine relationships of life. If Jesus is supreme in your life, then it will show in how you relate to others. Notice the relationships that Paul starts with, family, because our faith must come home with us. The first institution that God founded was family, and today it is under fire. So home must be the first place we test our newness in Christ.