Moments in the life of a Pastor

Walking with God

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22. Mentoring matters – Part 9

Titus 2:1-8

“As for you, Titus, promote the kind of living that reflects wholesome teaching. 2 Teach the older men to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, and to live wisely. They must have sound faith and be filled with love and patience. 3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. 6 In the same way, encourage the young men to live wisely. 7 And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.8 Teach the truth so that your teaching can’t be criticized. Then those who oppose us will be ashamed and have nothing bad to say about us.”

After talking about your life Paul not turns to your:

  1. LEGACY – “What kind of a legacy are you going to leave”

While your looks will fade your life will live on in the lives of those you have invested in. Its here that Paul tell Titus to let the mature women lead the younger as they train younger women to:

  1. Love their husbands –

Ladies you need to learn to love your man. Don’t fall for the fairytale version of love which says love is a feeling. Love is an act of the will not a whim. The tense of this verb means that wives are to be continually fond of their husbands. Proverbs 31:12 provides a good summary of a godly wife’s desire for her husband: “She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Do you think the best of your man by encouraging and building him up? Or, are you more like the woman in Proverbs 27:15: “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day.” Ladies loving your husband means discovering who he is, who God has made Him to be. I want you to notice that loving your husband comes before loving your children. Many mothers are trying to love their children while modeling meanness to their husbands. Every day you have an opportunity to enrolled your kids in the lessons of love by how you love their dad. Do you want your sons to grow up and be mean to their wives? What you model matters. The next is closely tied to loving: 

  1. Let Him Lead 

Submit to spiritual leadership, work with Him not against. The way to reach your husband is through respect. Disrespect creates distance. You need to learn to talk to him like he is a man not like you are his mom. Ladies are you mothering your man or are you modeling respect? Some of you have husbands who are distant because you are constantly hurting them with your wounding words. But it’s not just your words it’s also your nonverbal body language, when you roll your eyes instead of respecting your husband you hurt him. I see a lot of young girls rolling their eyes with that whatever look. Ladies where are they learning that? Moms what are you modeling for your daughters, let me ask you this, do you want your son to grow up having his future wife rolling her eyes at him and disrespecting him? The motive for honoring your man is rooted in your desire to honor God.  


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21. Mentoring matters – Part 8

Titus 2:1-8

“As for you, Titus, promote the kind of living that reflects wholesome teaching. 2 Teach the older men to exercise self-control, to be worthy of respect, and to live wisely. They must have sound faith and be filled with love and patience. 3 Similarly, teach the older women to live in a way that honors God. They must not slander others or be heavy drinkers. Instead, they should teach others what is good. 4 These older women must train the younger women to love their husbands and their children, 5 to live wisely and be pure, to work in their homes, to do good, and to be submissive to their husbands. Then they will not bring shame on the word of God. 6 In the same way, encourage the young men to live wisely. 7 And you yourself must be an example to them by doing good works of every kind. Let everything you do reflect the integrity and seriousness of your teaching.8 Teach the truth so that your teaching can’t be criticized. Then those who oppose us will be ashamed and have nothing bad to say about us.”

Not only should they be careful with their walk but also:

  • Careful with your words – not slanderers 

God’s Word instructs women to be wise with their words. Interesting that God’s Word speaks to women about the words they use. Women in general use more words than men and when they are upset tend to use words as a weapon. In fact when it comes to words as a weapon women are very good at wielding that sword, just go to high school. The Words you speak are like a sword, they can pierce or they can protect. Are your words hurting or healing the heart of those in your home. Are you being wise with your words or are your words wounding? Because the one who throws dirt loses ground. Strive to speak truth not trash. The word slander, is the word translated as “devil” 34 times in the New Testament. Satan is the supreme slanderer his goal is to ruin relationships. Ladies don’t use your words for war, a wise woman watches her words she doesn’t wound with her words. Godly women don’t engage in gossip. Unfortunately social media has given women a platform to slander, where you can be passive aggressive. But what is the purpose of the things you post, are your words productive or are they poison? Remember your daughters are watching your words and you are teaching and training them either to use their tongue for truth or to tear down and trash. Is gossip or godliness your go to? Instead of being a busy body be a blessing, use your words to build up not belittle.

  1. Controlled Conduct – 

Older women are to avoid addiction, especially to alcohol. The word “addiction” is the word for “enslaved” or being in “bondage” to something. A common characteristic of older women in Roman and Greek culture was to drink in order to dull the pain of life and to fill up empty time. What you consume will control. Ladies don’t fill your life with liquor to numb the pain fill your life with the Lord and let him heal your hurts. What is controlling your conduct, is it Christ or the culture.  

  1. Communicators of good

Teach here means “to train,” and has the idea of coming alongside someone. The word “good” refers to that which is inherently excellent and provides a superior benefit. Older women are able to pass along that which is beautiful and beneficial because of their experience of walking with God. Are you training your daughters in truth?