Colossians 3:18-4:1 

¹⁸ Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. ¹⁹ Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. ²⁰ Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. ²¹ Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. ²² Slaves, obey your earthly masters in everything; and do it, not only when their eye is on you and to curry their favor, but with sincerity of heart and reverence for the Lord. ²³ Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, ²⁴ since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving. ²⁵ Anyone who does wrong will be repaid for their wrongs, and there is no favoritism. 4 Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.

1. God’s Guidelines for a meaningful marriage
2. The issue is function, not inferiority. 

Remember Colossians 3:11, cultural, racial, and even gender distinctions are no longer obstacles when it comes to the new life. Salvation does not see status. Everyone is equal in Christ but as individuals we do have a role to play in the family relationship. God cares about family function so He gives us a foundation to help the family run efficiently and effectively. The problem is that we are more focused on our rights than right relationship. We chafe at God’s commands, a recent poll showed that over 70% of the public disagreed with the statement that “wives should submit to the servant leadership of their husbands.” The fact that a teaching is not popular is no reason to discard it. The truth is many of God’s commands run contrary to culture and often what God calls me to do I don’t care to because my flesh doesn’t feel like it. Forgive your enemy, bury your bitterness. But its not about my rights its about my Redeemer. When Christianity becomes a democracy it becomes hypocrisy.

• Relationships are meant to be reciprocal. 

The instructions in our text show a special concern for those who were looked down upon in the first century culture: wives, children, and slaves. It’s striking that Paul would even give them attention since the culture denigrated these three groups of people. Christianity elevated women, valued children, and set things in motion to sabotage slavery. It’s also interesting to note that Paul admonishes those in authority as he tells husbands, fathers, and masters to be loving, kind, and fair. These pairs are to be studied together because the relationships are reciprocal. We can’t talk about the responsibilities of one without clarifying the role of the other.

I realize that some have been destroyed by a wrong and wicked interpretation of this passage and I want to take a moment and pray for you. PRAYER – I pray that you will listen to the voice of the Redeemer rather than your rights and see how the Saviors supremacy deconstructs the old habits of domination and replaces them with loving leadership and gracious submission.

A. SUBMISSION

The Bible views marriage as a partnership not a power struggle. If it’s going to work we need to remember its about roles not rules. So Colossians 3:18 begins with: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting for those who belong to the Lord.” today there is no biblical teaching more controversial than that of a wife’s submission to her husband.

• Nowhere does it say that a wife is to obey her husband

Children are to obey, slaves are to obey but wives are to submit and there is a difference.

• The Scope of Submission – This applies to a wife and her husband not men and women in general. Angel is not called to submit to men only her man.
• Both husbands and wives are to submit to the Lord and to each other. Ephesians 5:21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

The concept of submission is taught in many places in the Bible and does not mean slavery or imply inferiority. The Greek word means “to arrange one’s self under a delegated authority” and comes from the military world where soldiers were to be in order under the direction of their officer. This is similar to what Paul praised the believers for in Colossians 2:5: “…I delight to see how orderly you are…” 

The reason for this submission is found at the end of verse 18: “As is fitting in the Lord.” Another translation puts it this way: “This is what the Lord has planned for you.” A wife is to submit to her husband out of the same allegiance she shows to Christ. This is not a cultural call but a Christ call and men nowhere in scripture are we called to tell our wives to submit that command comes from Christ. This command calls us to submit first to Christ’s call, submission is a spiritual issue not secular. Submission carries the idea of entrusting oneself to the leadership of another to accomplish a task. Its interesting that our culture has no problem with a team submitting to the call of the coach and the captain because they want to see them win. Yet when it comes to marriage we marginalize Christ our coach and moan at the thought of a captain. When it comes to marriage our culture is crucifying the coach and the castrated the captain! Today women are whining because they say that they want their husbands to lead spiritually but they won’t submit spiritually. Today we want love without leadership, sacrifice without submission. Resistance to God’s roles causes  relational wrecks. 

When marriage revolves around God’s roles of submission and sacrifice the result is a release from rules and an environment of intimacy and a peaceful partnership that will provide a platform for parenting.