Moments in the life of a Pastor

Walking with God

Monthly Archives: October 2024


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34. Marriage – God’s Masterpiece or manmade misery – Part 2

1 Peter series – “Holding onto Hope in a Hostile World”

1 Peter 3:1-7

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives. 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. 7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

Peter starts here by reminding husbands of their call first to:

·      CHERISH – “give honor”

The word “give” means to grant and bestow, it’s in the present tense, meaning that it’s something we are to be continually doing. Many men have the mentality of “I told you I loved you when we got married and if anything changes I will let you know.” A husband is called to honor his wife, to hold her in high regard, to treasure her. Proverbs 31:10 “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” Husbands how are you doing at honoring your wife? Guys, does your wife know that she is more important than anything else in your life? Sometimes I find it helpful to ponder the opposite word in order to get at the true meaning of the word I am trying to understand . Here are some antonyms of honor – to diss, scorn, neglect, disregard, put down, ignore, criticize, condemn and humiliate. Here is the question are you treating her like treasure or trash? If you answer neither then I have only one thing to say stop taking your girl for granted she is a gift. Value her by spending time with her and speaking well of her. Proverbs 31:28: “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” Husbands are you seeking ways to serve and show your spouse that she is special?

·      CONSIDERATION – “Treat your wife with understanding”

This means to be thoughtful of your wife. Get to know her, you know what ticks her off but do you know what makes her tick? Do you know her fears, failures and feelings…and the fun stuff that makes her who she is! Many men treat marriage like a hunting trip, we get all excited about the hunt, we talk about it and put all our energy into planning and pursing but once we pull the trigger and bag the deer it’s over. We take a few pictures or at best have it stuff and mounted on a wall. So it is in our relationship we chase and pursue we expend enormous amounts of energy dating, we staying up late talking and getting to know each other but the moment we get married we stop pursuing and getting to know each other. Your wife should be your school of study, observe her, notice her, pay attention. Some of you know more about guns than your girl, you know more sports stats than your spouse. Let me ask you this question if you were to buy your wife flowers what is her favorite flower and what color? My wife loves yellow roses because yellow is the color of friendship and for her friendship is the most important aspect of our relationship. Ask yourself this question: What does my wife need and how am I doing at meeting those needs? Our call as men is to discover and celebrate who God made our wife to be and then empower and unleash her to live on mission for the glory of God. Are you a student of your spouse? Do you know her love language, and are you learning to speak it?


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33. Marriage – God’s Masterpiece or manmade misery – Part 1

1 Peter series – “Holding onto Hope in a Hostile World”

1 Peter 3:1-7

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives. 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. 7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

As we return to our study in 1 Peter we find ourselves not only at the middle of our study but also in the middle of a 4 part series on submission. Peter started out by calling us to submit rightly not wrongly to governing authorities, second he talked to us about submission and our superiors, and what it looks like to walking out God’s Will in the workplace. As we continue we will see that God’s goal for us is to walk out submission in our most sacred relationship, marriage. Before we can talk about submission in marriage we have to talk about submission to the Master. Am I going to walk out God’s Will or walk away? Most of us read this passage and pucker up, don’t tell me how to manage my marriage, essential here is what we do – tear out scripture. Why is God’s goal for spouses to submit, because submission kills selfishness and cultivates serving It puts pride to death and Peters main point is that spouses are called to serve one another. He starts with the words in the same way which take us back to our previous passage one that pointed to the Savior. As Christ-followers we’re called to follow in His steps. Jesus modeled servanthood, he submitted to the Will of the Father. Now as we get ready to look at God’s model for marriage I want to read you the following email that a woman sent to tech support:

Dear Tech Support, last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as Sports 5.0, TV 3.0 and Basketball Game 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate Woman.”

Dear Desperate Woman, first, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package while Husband 1.0 is an older more reliable operating system. Try to download Tears 6.2. If this application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above applications can cause a default to Silence 2.5. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). In summary, you might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.”

Now we may laugh at that but sometimes we wonder if marriage is God’s Masterpiece or manmade misery? Hebrews 13:4 tells us that: “Marriage must be honored by everyone.” But have you noticed that marriage is no longer honored in our society? It’s dismissed, demeaned, and even discouraged by many. Marriage is being ridiculed and even redefined, but God declares that marriage is between one man and one woman for life. As we study this passage together my pray is that you will discover God’s game plan for your marriage. A good marriage is more than being with the right person; it’s being the right person. Now while there are 6 verses directed to wives and only 1 toward husbands don’t let that fool you into feeling like wives have more to do in marriage. In fact we are actually going to flip this passage around and start first with husbands.  As Peter talks to husbands he says “in the same way you husbands must give” This means likewise or of equal degree. Just as wives are called to submit so are husbands, now his role is different and so his serving will look different but Ephesians 5:21 puts it simply and strongly: “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” The focus for our submission should be the Savior, the problem is we try to make the focus self and when we do we fight submission.