1 Peter series – “Holding onto Hope in a Hostile World”

1 Peter 3:1-7

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives. 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. 7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

Now a Word to Wives

·      COOPERATE – “wives must accept the authority”

God plans for couples to cooperate and the word submit means to voluntarily line up under for the sake of order. It means to work together and champion the Lords call on your husband to lead. Notice that wives are not called to submit to someone else’s husband. As already stated this does not mean that husbands are better than wives. It’s a matter of roles in the relationship. In short, according to Ephesians 5, husbands are to provide loving leadership, following the example of Christ and wives are to willingly follow that leadership in the home. This is an attitude of cooperation because without it marriage moves into chaos. Just like with the husband it is a command in the present tense, meaning it’s something that must become a continual practice. But the key to developing a spirit of submission is to first be surrendered and submitted to the Lord. According to Ephesians 5:22-24, marriage is intended to reflect Christ and the church. The Bible clearly teaches that as the Church submits to Christ, wives are to submit to our husbands. It is a picture of His love relationship with the Church, not a curse on the Church. Are you coming together to cooperate or control? Wives have much to contribute to the relationship but it will only work when there you chose to collaborate. 

·      CHASTE CONDUCT – “your godly lives will speak to them without any words”

Win your husband over with your walk not just your words. Women let’s be honest when your husband doesn’t respond your temptation is to nag. But sometimes words can get in the way, unspoken acting is more powerful than unperformed speaking.” It was Ralph Emerson who said, “Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying. Now I want to be careful in my choice of words as we tackle the topic of chaste conduct, because there are younger people in our services. But are you aware that the #1 genre of eBooks is erotica? The pornography and erotic industry produces more net yearly revenue than Microsoft, Apple, Google, Amazon, Ebay, Yahoo and Netflix combined. A recent best seller and money maker was a book called 50 Shades of Grey, it offers a counterfeit and satanic substitute to what a woman is truly looking and longing for. Instead of 50 shades of grey Peter is calling us to pull back the shades and seek purity in an age of promiscuity. Chaste conduct isn’t just about words but what you wear.

 CULTIVATE THE HEART – “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty”

While there’s nothing wrong with looking nice, Christian women are called to cultivate the heart. How much time do you spend primping and preparing your outer beauty vs your inward beauty. Do you cater more to cosmetics or character? Women worry about how they look and the world capitalizes on that that worry by making massive amounts of money on makeup. There have been many famous women who have emphasize the outward because they are empty on the inside. But according to scripture an outwardly beautiful woman who lacks inner beauty and character is actually ugly. Proverbs 11:22: “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.” Peter says that the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit will not fade away, there is no Botox needed to keep that kind of beauty. Peter describes this beauty as gentle and quiet. Gentle is one of the 9 fruits of the Spirit and means, “strength under control.” Quiet refers to being tranquil not combative. Do you spend as much time cultivating your inner life as you do cosmetically beautifying your outward life? Scripture gives us the example of Sarah who Genesis 12:11 says was “a woman of beautiful countenance.” But what set her apart was that she adorned herself inwardly and determined to follow he husbands God-given leadership, even when it didn’t make sense to her.

·      CAREFUL – “do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.”

God’s goal is for you to be a doer of good, again, a wife’s witness comes primarily through works, not her words. Just as a husband is called to be careful in his conduct so is a wife.

1 Peter series – “Holding onto Hope in a Hostile World”

1 Peter 3:1-7

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives. 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. 7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

As we return to our study in 1 Peter we find ourselves not only at the middle of our study but also in the middle of a 4 part series on submission. Peter started out by calling us to submit rightly not wrongly to governing authorities, second he talked to us about submission and our superiors, and what it looks like to walking out God’s Will in the workplace. As we continue we will see that God’s goal for us is to walk out submission in our most sacred relationship, marriage. Before we can talk about submission in marriage we have to talk about submission to the Master. Am I going to walk out God’s Will or walk away? Most of us read this passage and pucker up, don’t tell me how to manage my marriage, essential here is what we do – tear out scripture. Why is God’s goal for spouses to submit, because submission kills selfishness and cultivates serving It puts pride to death and Peters main point is that spouses are called to serve one another. He starts with the words in the same way which take us back to our previous passage one that pointed to the Savior. As Christ-followers we’re called to follow in His steps. Jesus modeled servanthood, he submitted to the Will of the Father. Now as we get ready to look at God’s model for marriage I want to read you the following email that a woman sent to tech support:

Dear Tech Support, last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as Sports 5.0, TV 3.0 and Basketball Game 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do? Signed, Desperate Woman.”

Dear Desperate Woman, first, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package while Husband 1.0 is an older more reliable operating system. Try to download Tears 6.2. If this application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the above applications can cause a default to Silence 2.5. Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). In summary, you might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.”

Now we may laugh at that but sometimes we wonder if marriage is God’s Masterpiece or manmade misery? Hebrews 13:4 tells us that: “Marriage must be honored by everyone.” But have you noticed that marriage is no longer honored in our society? It’s dismissed, demeaned, and even discouraged by many. Marriage is being ridiculed and even redefined, but God declares that marriage is between one man and one woman for life. As we study this passage together my pray is that you will discover God’s game plan for your marriage. A good marriage is more than being with the right person; it’s being the right person. Now while there are 6 verses directed to wives and only 1 toward husbands don’t let that fool you into feeling like wives have more to do in marriage. In fact we are actually going to flip this passage around and start first with husbands.  As Peter talks to husbands he says “in the same way you husbands must give” This means likewise or of equal degree. Just as wives are called to submit so are husbands, now his role is different and so his serving will look different but Ephesians 5:21 puts it simply and strongly: “Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” The focus for our submission should be the Savior, the problem is we try to make the focus self and when we do we fight submission.