Philippians 1:3-7

3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. 7 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me.

Do you have joy in your relationships? Do you enjoy the people around you? So often we find ourselves in conflict with the ones we should love so instead of joy we have sorrow. Paul was thankful for the people in his life and he expressed his thanks first to God in prayer and second to those he was thankful for. So how does prayer impact our relationships with joy? Paul says: “I always pray with joy” his relational heart attitude towards others flows out of his relationship with God. Are you joyful in prayer?  It is out of this time of prayer that Paul reveals several practices that will infuse our relationships with Joy.

• The Practice of Affirming (verses 3-5)

Paul tells the Philippians that he values them, and that they bring him joy. If we want to experience joy in our relationships then we must start affirming the people that we are relating to. The truth is that we cannot enjoy those we only criticize. This is not to say that you overlook sin, or you do not correct, Paul gave plenty of instruction and correction in his letters but he also affirmed people. Many of us see God as a critical judge just waiting for us to mess up so He can punish us, yet the opposite is really true. God affirms us, He values us, He sent His Son to redeem us, to purchase our freedom. The bible is filled with His love for us and as we relax into His presence through prayer we experience the joy of this relationship. Why do we have so little joy in our relationships today, could it be that we are not experiencing the joy of His presence? There is something even in the worst of us that we can affirm, yet many of us only see what we can criticize.

You can only enjoy those you affirm because affirmation oils our relationships allowing us to work together without unnecessary friction and damage. Affirmation gives value as it reveals another’s worth, it is not locked into just verbally praising but can take many forms. Take time for others affirms them because it says you are important to me. Most of us know how to affirm others and unfortunately we often do it because we want something. When it comes to those closest to us we often do not affirm them and instead just take them for granted. After time with God in prayer Paul then took time to intentionally affirm others. Tonight, before you go to bed, pray with (out loud and maybe holding hands) your spouse, your parents, your child. Share through your prayer what you are thankful to God for regarding them.

• The Practice of correctly placing confidence (verse 6)

Many times in our relationships we become frustrated with where people are at and their seeming lack of movement. Prayer allowed Paul to have a great confidence in others progression because his confidence was not in the Philippians or in himself, but in the God who began the work. Where or in whom we place our confidence determines how much joy we can have in our relationships and what often ruins relationships is the inappropriate placement of confidence. Let’s look at the church. What would happen if we placed our confidence in the pastor to grow it, to meet all our needs, or to be caring all the time? We would be disappointed, even resentful because he is just not that capable. What if the pastor place his confidence in us to be there when he need us, to change when he taught us a life-changing truth, or to serve one another without complaining. He also would be discouraged even resentful and neither pastor nor parishioner would relationally last very long. If we place confidence in ourselves we will eventually be disappointed and we will manipulate others to achieve our own goals. Not placing our confidence in each other or in ourselves is not to say we don’t count on each other or try to follow through with our commitments and responsibilities. But the correct placement of our confidence in God frees us to enjoy each other and rejoice in our periodic successes. Our confidence is in the One who began, who starts but also completes, who finishes the work. His work for us began when Christ died on the cross in our place, and it began in us when we first believed. God who began a good work in us continues it throughout our lifetime and will finish it, He is the starter and finisher. Sometimes we feel as though we are not making progress in our spiritual life but when you are discouraged remember that God has not given up on you. When God starts a project, he completes it, He promises to finish the work he has begun. When you feel incomplete, unfinished, or distressed by your shortcomings, remember God’s promise and provision. Don’t let your present condition or that of those around you to rob you of the joy of knowing Christ or keep you from growing closer to him.

• The Practice of cultivating community (verse 7)

The practice of affirming one another and the placement of confidence in God instead of others or ourselves make the sharing of our lives together a joy from which the presence of community can develop. Paul was reliving the joyful relationship shared with the Philippians in his heart even though he was many miles away in a prison cell. The presence of true community exists in the heart and is a by-product of sharing our lives together with joy. If the relationships you have exist only in the presence of formal gatherings, you have a crowd, not a community. Community is cultivated in the heart, scheduled programs and decorated facilities can bring organization and appeal, but they can never maintain joy in relationships, only the presence of community in the heart will.

Colossians 4:2-5

2 Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. 3 Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about his mysterious plan concerning Christ. That is why I am here in chains. 4 Pray that I will proclaim this message as clearly as I should.

We’ve all heard the message that we need to pray and we know that prayer makes a difference and that through prayer we have access to the God of the universe. We know we can have peace through prayer, and that without prayer we are powerless yet we don’t pray like we should and even talking about this sends many of us on just another guilt trip. In one sense, prayer is simple; but yet, it is also one of the most difficult parts of the Christian life and there are many obstacles to prayer:

•             We focus more on asking for things than on knowing God more intimately.

•             We’re proud and independent, and if the truth were known, some of us don’t really feel like we need any help

•             We view prayer as a chore so we miss the worship for the work.

Verse 2 asks the question, “How do we pray?” and focuses on the characteristics of prayer. We do so with devotion, watchfulness and thankfulness. Verses 3-4 pose another question, 3 Pray for us, too, that God will give us many opportunities to speak about his mysterious plan concerning Christ. That is why I am here in chains. 4 Pray that I will proclaim this message as clearly as I should.

There are at least two things we should say when we pray.

• Opportunities

Ask for open doors. It’s amazing to me that while Paul is under house arrest he doesn’t ask for prayers for his release, or for better food, or anything else related to his comfort or his needs. He simply wants an open door for the gospel message. His own physical door was shut and it would have been understandable if he had asked for that door to be opened. Instead he focused on a bigger door. Why? Because he had Christ, he was already free, but there were others who were still bound by sin. Even though he was locked up he was still able to minister effectively and he knew that he needed the prayers of God’s people for the doors to open.

In Scripture, an open door is an opportunity for the gospel. In 1 Corinthians 16:9, Paul says, “a great door for effective work has opened to me.” In 2 Corinthians 2:12, he writes, “I went to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ and found that the Lord had opened a door for me.” Jesus opens and shuts doors for us as we seek Him in prayer. Revelation 3:8: “See, I have placed before you an open door that no one can shut.”  What door do you want to see opened, what opportunities are you praying for? Whose freedom are you really focused on?

Prayer is always relational, it’s where we meet God, its face time with the Almighty, and out of this relationship I can focus on other relationships and start to see people the way my Father does. Time with the Father doesn’t just change the direction of my life it changes the very course of life itself, not only am I redirected but so are my priorities and desires. Has your time with the Father become less about you and more about Him, His gospel and those He sent His Son to die for?

• Clarity

Once God opens a door, it’s essential that we have the ability to proclaim the mystery of Christ with clarity. The goal of evangelism is to make the cloudy clear and we need to ask for clarity.  Colossians teaches us that the mystery is that Christ has died for the sins of the whole world, and that when we receive Him by faith, He comes to take up residence in our life as Colossians 1:27 states: “Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Do you pray for open doors, opportunities to proclaim to others the gospel of Christ? Do you pray for clarity so that you can clearly proclaim the mystery? I believe that one of the greatest reasons why we don’t read the bible is that we don’t see ourselves in there. We see it as a book written to others but it’s written to you, God is talking about you.  Do you to see yourself in His letter to you? I think one of the reasons we don’t share the bible is that we really don’t see what God has saved us from. We have never really pictured ourselves in Hell!  It’s not just a book, it’s His spoken Word, His love letter to you and it’s not just about being saved from Hell, it’s God salvaging our relationship so that we don’t have to go through life separated from Him. Yet the sad truth is that many of us are content with a salvation that saves us from eternal separation while we continue to live in spiritual isolation.

Have you had your face time today? Is it time to come and communion with the Father, to talk about the doors that need to be opened and the clarity to share Him with those He has placed around you? Are you ready for the ride of your life?  Then trade in your guilt trip for a grace trip.