Titus 2:11-14

¹¹ For the grace of God has been revealed, bringing salvation to all people. ¹² And we are instructed to turn from godless living and sinful pleasures. We should live in this evil world with wisdom, righteousness, and devotion to God, ¹³ while we look forward with hope to that wonderful day when the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, will be revealed. ¹⁴ He gave his life to free us from every kind of sin, to cleanse us, and to make us his very own people, totally committed to doing good deeds.

As we continue to look at cultivating Christ like character we come to the last, but not least, fruit of the Spirit:

• SELF-CONTROL

Now each of the different characteristics of the Fruit of the Spirit focuses on at least two relationships, how we respond to God and how we treat other people. Joy and faithfulness are expressed vertically while peace, patience, kindness, goodness and gentleness bear directly on how we interact with others. While the juiciest fruit, which is at the center of our spiritual fruit salad, love, has both a horizontal and vertical dimension. But nestled among the Spirit’s produce is this seemingly out-of-place fruit of self-control. This fruit reminds us of a third relationship that of self, for this characteristic of a Christ-follower focus on me as well as my relationships with other people. We need to exercise self-control not only when we are with others but also when we are the only person around. In fact, sometimes the hidden, private moments when no one else is looking is precisely when we need self-control the most. But when we properly exercise the fruit of self-control, it will benefit both us and those around us. In some ways, we could consider this virtue the most important because without self-control the works of the flesh cannot be overcome, and the other elements of the Fruit of the Spirit will be severely limited. The Greeks illustrate self-control with statues of people that were in perfect proportion. To them, self-control was the proper ordering and balancing of the individual. Aristotle once said, “I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is the victory over self.” Plato believed that our animal urges must be governed or else they will produce “a feverish state in the soul, a city of pigs” which knows no limits. The reality is that when we’re not self-controlled, our life is like a pigsty. Many of us are living in a mess instead of living out God’s ministry because of a lack of self-control in our lives. It’s the picture of the prodigal son living in the pig pen because his life was out of control. Now the word translated “self-control” is rendered “temperance” in the King James Version and comes from the word “strength.” It means, “one who holds themselves in.” To be self-controlled means to master one’s desires and impulses. To not live in bondage to the desires, passions and appetites of the flesh. My body is a good servant but a miserable master. Now while “self-control” is a good translation of the Greek word, it’s a bit misleading because it doesn’t take us long to realize that we can’t control ourselves simply through our own willpower or self-determination. Contrary to what the culture tells us, self-control is more than just self-help. Something which Paul points to as he speaks of our dilemma in Romans 7:18: “And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t.”So, what is self-control? Well Paul provides a fuller meaning in his extended discussion about his ministry in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, “²⁴ Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win! ²⁵ All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. ²⁶ So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing. ²⁷ I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.”In this passage, Paul contrasts exercising control over his body with running “aimlessly” in verse 26. He argues that athletes exercise self-control because they have a clearly defined purpose or goal. They cannot afford to be distracted by every passion or desire that comes along. So, we can define this final fruit of the Spirit as the “control of self by the Spirit of God for the sake of the gospel.” What looks like self-control is actually the result of letting someone else take control. Biblical Self-control is walking by the Spirit, under the Lordship of Christ. A self-controlled life is the result of a Spirit-controlled life. The truth is it’s not really about self, it’s about the work of the Spirit. The only way to live a controlled life is to let Christ be in control of our lives and that starts at the cross. Because you can’t have the Spirit of God without the salvation of God. So, let me ask you are you saved? Has there been a time in your life when you have admitted your sin and cried out to Jesus to save you from your sin? If you have then His Spirit will not only come into your life but take charge of your life. Today we are so afraid to let Christ be in control. But what are we afraid of that the Messiah will mess up our lives? The truth is that when we try to retain control life quickly becomes chaos. But when we let Christ be in control instead of a destructive life we end up living a constructive life.  So, who is holding onto the reigns of your life? Because the hand that’s holding the reigns determines the heading of our heart. Who is in control of your life, self or the Spirit?

Matthew 11:28-30

²⁸ Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.³⁰ For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Not only should we rely on the Savior instead of self. Be humble instead of hurtful. Give grace instead of judgement and be accepting instead of rejecting but fifth we should:

5. Be Understanding not Demanding

When we come into contact with people we are to be understanding not demanding Philippians 2:4 says: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”How do you respond, are you rude and demanding or kind and understanding? You never know what people are going through and just like you they have good days and bad days. Are you taking time to look beyond your own needs and agenda to notice the needs of others.

6. Be Teachable not unreachable

When Christ corrects you, be teachable not unreachable, as James 1:19 says: “let everyone be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.”If you want to be a gentle person use your ears more than your mouth and be willing to accept correction. The wisest people I know are the people who have a “teach me” attitude instead of a let me tell you one. But notice that Christ’s invitation is not just and invitation to stop trying and start trusting but it’s also an invitation to be taught, so that we don’t go right back to the same troubles. But today many of us don’t want to submit to Christs teaching, like the horse we don’t want to humble ourselves to the bit and bridal. But just as a horse is controlled by the tug of a reign so we to will be turned by our teaching. Worldly teaching will lead you down the path of lies but the Word will lead you into life. Our problem is that we want the blessing we just don’t want the bit.

7. Be Tender without Surrender

When someone disagrees with you be tender without surrender. You are not going to get along with everyone, there will be some who just want to argue and quarrel and will contradict everything you say. Now one of the tests of spiritual maturity is how you handle people who disagree with you. You really have three options you can retreat, you can retaliate, or you can respond in gentleness.

Retreat – If you give in and retreat from argumentative people, saying, “Okay, have it your way” because you want peace at any price you need to remember that false peace brings many hidden costs and often ruins relationships.

Retaliate – On the other hand, if you retaliate you take the offensive and fight back but you run the risk of devastating everyone who disagrees with you. When people attack their most common reaction is to become sarcastic and attack the other person’s self-worth.

Gentleness – The third alternative requires responding in gentleness. This is the approach God wants us to take when we encounter opposition. This kind of response requires a fine balance between maintaining your right to an opinion while equally respecting another’s right to theirs. It requires being tender without surrendering your convictions. Writing to Timothy, Paul said in 2 Tim 2:24-25: “The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth.”Gentleness is one of the greatest qualifications for spiritual leadership. If you are a leader and you are characterized by anger and caught up in arguments, then there is a problem. Lastly

8. Be Proactive not Reactive

In 1 Peter 2:23 the apostle Peter recalled how Jesus acted at his trial before Pilate, “While being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously.”Jesus could have commanded all the angels in heaven to come down and rescue him, but he resisted the urge to react because He knew that God was in control. He didn’t need to react to Pilate’s insults because he knew exactly who he was, the Son of God. When someone hurts you, are you reactive or proactive? Gentleness has the ability to handle hurt without retaliating. Some of you will respond to that statement by saying “But that’s not easy to do” and you’re right. It is almost impossible, because to respond that way is not natural, its supernatural, it is the fruit of the Spirit. When someone stabs you in the back and hurts your heart how do you respond? Some of us say, “You make me so mad!” When we do we are really admitting that someone else is controlling our emotions. You are acknowledging that you have given that person the power to determine your feelings and reactions. Look no one can take that control from you, you give it away the moment you start reacting. The only way to learn to be proactive and not reactive is to learn to lean on Jesus. Rather than just reacting gentleness reigns in its response by filtering its feelings through God’s grace. If you are going to share God’s gift of gentleness first you have to get it, where do we get gentleness from God. So, let me ask you how closely are you clinging to Christ? The only way to grow in gentleness is to let Christ be in control. Come to Him and let him have the reigns of our life. Look God doesn’t just want to break us of a rebellious spirit but to bless us with His Holy Spirit. Whose hands are the reigns of your life in self or the Savior?