Moments in the life of a Pastor

Walking with God

Author Archives: Giles


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Moments in a Monastery – Part 1

Imagine stepping out of the rush and roar of this world to spend a week living in a monastery. For some being surrounded by silence and solitude might sound like heaven, where others may see it as a sentence. For me stepping away from the world for a week and living with monks in a medieval monastery in Scotland was made even more interesting as it came, somewhat unplanned, on the heels of a week in an all inclusive resort in Mexico. Mexican resort vs religious Monastery a very interesting contrast to say the least. From an environment of care free comfort and convenience to one of contemplation, from pampering to prayer. One designed to revolve around self the other around the Savior, from its about you to its about Christ. A day after leaving Mexico and unpacking my clothes of comfort, I packed to board my next plane, bound first for Britain. From London I traveled up to Aberdeen and then by train on to Elgin Scotland. Where the following day I would travel the last six miles to Pluscarden in Moray Scotland. Its amazing how much your world can change and where you can end up in just 24 hours of travel. Pluscarden Abbey is the only medieval monastery in Britain still inhabited by monks and being used for its original purpose. It owes its foundation to King Alexander II of Scotland in the year 1230 where at the same time grants were made to two other sister houses, Beauly in Ross, and Ardchattan in Argyll. The community that served these churches was one of Valliscaulians, a little-known order that shared some of the strictness of the Carthusian discipline with the spirit of fellowship that existed among the Benedictines, and only at these three places was this order represented in Scotland or England. The original parent house in France, the Priory of Vallis Caulium, had been founded just over thirty years earlier. Today Pluscarden Abbey is home to a community of Catholic Benedictine monks, nestled at the foot of a steep and densely forested hill. The original brethren from France, who bravely ventured out to start it must surely have found in Pluscarden, an echo of their former home, which lay in a deeply wooded valley in Burgundy. After arriving at the train station in Elgin I chose to stayed overnight at a local hotel as it was to late to join the monks at the monastery, which ask guests to arrive before 6pm. The next day after strolling through the town and picking up a few needed items I left for Pluscarden. Arriving while the monks were in service I found myself alone to figure out where to go and what to do. Not being sure I chose to leave my bags at the front door and head off to explore my new world. It was an interesting sensation to leave my stuff and feel safe after being in a world, where one has to be so weary, keeping a constant eye on their things. It was freeing to no longer be bound by my belongings and it made me wonder how preoccupied are we with our possessions? So there I was free from my baggage yet still trying to figure our what I needed to do. Its funny to me now looking back how I spent those first few moments worried about figuring it out, when I wasn’t there to do but simply to be. Again here was another lesson I needed to learn and a question I needed to ponder, “how much of my time is focused on doing instead of being, trying to figure it out instead of seeking Him out?” Somewhere in the need to figure it all out I simply stopped, surrendering to the stillness and silence of this secluded glen. Instead of trying to figure out where I needed to be and what I needed to do I left and went for a walk, trading doing for being. How often do we miss time with the Savior, to sit with His in silence and soak in the stillness, simply because of our restless pace and relentless need to figure it all out? It was refreshing to let go of the stuff and the need to know and just wonder. I did eventually run into a monk, which as it turned out I happened to share a name with, Father Giles. As he told me his name I was reminded that God not only has a handle on things but also a sense of humor. Funny how we spend so much time worrying and trying to figure things out when He already has it planned out. I wonder if our really struggle isn’t so much the need to figure things out as may be it is the need to constantly be in control? I will never forget the caring and comforting smile of Father Giles, a man molded by this monastery and at peace with his place. A man I had the privilege of later sitting and spending several hours with, of which I will expound upon at a later date. Father Giles showed me to a sparse room designed to cover my basic needs instead of my comfort, a bed, desk and a sink. There were no pictures on the wall to decorate the room only a single sheet of paper showing the schedule of service for each day, which included seven services:

4:30am Lauds (90mins)

6:30am Prime (35 minutes after Lauds) (10mins)

7:30am Breakfast

9:00am Mass & Terce (50 mins)

12:35pm Sext (10 mins)

12:45 pm Lunch

2:15pm None (10mins)

5:15pm Vespers (30mims)

6:35 pm Supper

7:50pm Compline (15mins)

It was in this atmosphere of quiet reflection that I would experience a routine revolving around work dedicated to the glory of God. Where among the beauty of the architecture I would discovered a restful atmosphere of devotion. A devotion which has so deeply permeated this little corner of Scotland in a life that is much the same now as it was in the thirteenth century, when a community of monks first came to this part of Scotland. These were my first moments in a monastery, moments filled with freeing life lessons. Lessons not taught in an academic classroom stuffed with knowledge, but lessons more caught than taught. That first evening as I reflected on my journey from the hustle and bustle of business to one of being, I was reminded that we are all just a moment away from stillness, if we will but take the first step. That as we step into the stillness of being we are enveloped not in a life of performance but one of prayer.


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30 Resting in the One who Holds my Hand

Psalm 73: 2, 22-26 – “But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold. I was senseless and ignorant; I was a brute beast before you. Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever”

One of the priorities of parenting is providing for and protecting your children, and one of the simple ways that we do this is to simply hold their hand. We do this to keep them safe when crossing a street, or to keep them from getting lost in a crowd, or to keep them from falling when they stumble and lose their footing. Just as a parent takes their child by the hand, so the Lord takes his children by the hand, and teaches them to walk by faith in Him, Hosea 11:3 says “I myself taught Israel how to walk, leading him along by the hand. But he doesn’t know or even care that it was I who took care of him.”  It is our Heavenly Father that holds our hand securely as we stumble in sin and trip over the temptations. It is this reassuring hand holding ours that enables us to rest safe and secure in the uncertainty of life’s journey. Our flesh and our faith will fail but our faithful God will not let go. I think we can all identify with the psalmist when he says in verse 2: “But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; I had nearly lost my foothold.” We all face a variety of issues that threaten to cause us to slip and stumble. For the psalmist seeing the prosperity of the wicked caused him to question the goodness of God. He found himself standing at the edge of a deep precipice, not fully aware of its danger, having almost having fallen in. Here we are reminded of the importance of holding on to God, keeping our eyes and faith on Him. It was God who squeezed his hand and reassured him that, given the judgment of God, the wicked do not really prosper. He discovered that true prosperity, is found in the fact that God is always with us holding our hand and guide us through the good and the bad to our ultimately destination, home with Him in heaven. It is what we discover about the heart of the Father during these hand holding moments that causes to rely and rest on Him. The first thing we learn is:

  •  God’s Grace.

Verse 23: “Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand” This verse contains the two precious mercies of His presence and protection. Yet what is amazing is that they were both given to one who confessed himself a fool, one who fell short. Asaph was sustained and kept by God in the land of the living, he was permitted to abide in God’s presence. He was allowed to hope in God’s mercy, despite his doubts about the justice of God’s divine administration. Or his envy at the prosperity of evil, and his spirit of complaining against God. The amazing grace here is that he is not driven far away from God, banished from God’s blessings, cut off from his favor and cursed. We should all marvel at His mercy when we reflect on our questioning and doubts about God. There is a note of amazement here, amazement over the unfailing grace and faithfulness of the Almighty. Have we have lost the wonder and amazement of His hand holding grace? It is as if Asaph is looking back over his life and saying, “I wouldn’t expect this; because if God were as I, He would and should have quit with me a long ago. Yet, nevertheless, beyond expectation, and to my utter amazement, God has not forsaken me. Despite my rebellion, despite my questioning, despite my discontent with His ways, He is continually with me.” The amazing grace of God is seen it that no matter how horrible I am He still holds my hand. Have you experienced the holy hand of God, the unbelievable truth that God never forsakes His kids? Asaph understood that God was constantly and continually with him, even when he was far from God, disenfranchised and distrusting, like a sulking, spoiled child. Yet, never once did God remove His faithful hand of power and provision. The picture he paints is of a little child who is sullen and stubborn, intent on his own way, and of a patient father who holds that child by the hand. It is a picture of tenderness, strength and wisdom. Asaph saw how far he’d fallen, he had become brutish, a beast out of touch with God. Like Asaph we too spend so many of our days living as beasts, senseless and ignorant, we slip, and stumble and fall into sin. Our ignorant thinking is seen in the way we think that the only things of value are the things of this earth. We doubt God and question His ways, yet He holds our hand, coming along side of us and comforts us with His covenant. This is the lesson that we need to let flood our souls, the lesson of His amazing grace.

  •  God’s Guidance

“You guide me with your counsel” Asaph is no longer murmuring or complain, but entrust it all to God, allow himself to be led according to God’s instruction. Its easy to question God especially when things don’t seem to make sense, but its in these times that we need to engage in a little holy reasoning. Because God has shown Himself faithful in the past, I can trust Him even in my present panic. Yet its not just our past and our present we can trust Him with its also our future, Asaph reminds us that God wants to guide us into glory, so we can be with Him at home in heaven. Into a world where we will no longer doubt His divine dispensations, questioning the principles of His government. This is not a life left to chance, one of random roaming, where we have to trying to make our own way in life. Our future is not as some think, simply in the cards, where all we can do is hope for the best. This is not a far off impersonal God, but one of grace, guiding us with His loving touch, holding our unsure hand. We have a guide that not only knows the way but is able to keep us on that way. In light of His grace and guidance Asaph now confesses God as his only desire and strength. He recognizes the frailty of man, our flesh is weak, plagued with the curse of sin, corrupted decaying and heading towards the grave. Our earthly life is like a shadow that quickly passes by. Our hearts faint within us, we become overwhelmed with our worries and cares, staggering and fainting as our courage fails. Only God can meet and satisfy the needs of our soul, and even after all the doubting and complaining there is no one who comes close to caring like God. Asaph discovers that God is now his everything, his soul is satisfied, there is a shift here from a focus on have not to have everything. We will never rest until we learn not to expect earthly things to satisfy our soul. We like Asaph need to look to the Savior for satisfaction where we will find His sufficiency for our every need. I wonder is this true for you? This is when God becomes our all, and we finally rest content knowing that no matter what He holds our hand. The lessons that the psalmist learned, through trial and tribulation he learned not by his head but in his heart. We only really learn as we are willing to live life with The Lord. When we do we are reminded of His amazing grace, that God never forsakes us, His guidance now and through the future; and that God is our only satisfaction and all-sufficient strength. While his affliction was unpleasant it had the beneficial effect of drawing him closer to God, his bitterness and complaining was replaced with worship and praise. Rather than dwelling on what material things he lacked, he delighted in the greatest blessing of all having a personal God, an intimate counselor and guide, a present and a future source of comfort and security. What will happen to us tomorrow, what stresses and sorrows will come our way, what difficulties and demands, we do not know. But we know that God will guide us with His grace holding our hand all the way home. Today no matter where you are or what circumstances you face take time to enjoy the journey hand in hand with your Father.