Philippians 1:3-8

3 Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. 4 Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, 5 for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now. 6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. 7 So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News. 8 God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus.

When it comes to finding Joy in others Paul first called us to practice affirmation and place our confidence in Christ, because when God starts a project, he completes it. Just as He did with the Philippians, God will grow you in grace and complete the work he has started in your life. The next time you are discouraged remember that God has not given up on you. So if you are feeling incomplete and unfinished, instead of focusing on your shortcomings focus on His strength. Don’t let your present condition rob you of His joy, remember His promise and provision. Third Paul reminds us to:

• Pursue Community

In Philippians 1:7 Paul says “So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News.” There is a power in community that even prison can’t stop because when you have people in your heart, it matters not whether they are in your presence. Paul even in prison was reliving the joyful relationship he shared with the Philippians who had partnered with him in the gospel. They were not only partakers in his praise but also in his imprisonment. Community is not about convenience and it’s not always comfortable but it is comforting. They were in his heart even though he was many miles away in a prison cell. You see if the relationships you have exist only in the presence of a formal gathering then you have a crowd, not a community. The presence of community starts in the heart regardless of whether or not the relationship is revealed in a gathering. Scheduled programs provide structure but they don’t produce joy in our relationships, it is the presence of community that we need to pursue. It is the practice of affirming people and placing our confidence in God instead of others or ourselves that makes the sharing of our lives more significant. The presence of community then is the by-product of doing life together, sharing the sorrows and the smiles. Both the Philippians and Paul had shared in the grace of God, they had both placed their confidence in God’s goodness and from this joy presence of community grew. Are you taking time to share your life with your family? Are you pursuing community together? One of the reasons we have become such a discouraged, despondent, and depressed nation is we no longer crave or really care about community.  We no longer come together and do life because we have bought into the lie that comfort and convenience will bring us joy. Look around at the number of families sitting together in the same place yet pursuing their phones not the people around them. Today we are connecting to computers not community. But for Paul joy came from a community of believers pursuing a journey with Jesus and each other. What is getting in the way of you pursuing community in your home, at work, and at church?

• Proclaim His affection

Paul now proclaims God’s affection “God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus” This is a love that involves longing and comes from our relationship with the Lord. Are you communicating Christ’s compassion with others? We are not the creators of love we are simply the contributors in love.  Sharing the Savior means speaking His love, its simply giving to others what has been given to you. Are you a contributor or just a consumer of His love? What amazes me here is that Paul is saying in the same way Jesus loves me I chose to love you. You see this is more than Paul loving the Philippians as Jesus loved them, this is Paul loving the Philippians because Jesus loved Paul. We try to love others because we know that is what Jesus wants us to do instead of loving because we have been loved. What’s the difference, one is just a rational reason the other is a response to a radical love. Are you loving out of the overflow or out of law?  1st John 4:19 reminds us that “we love because He first loved us” Our love is a response to His radically love of us. You will either have a mentality of I get to love or I have to love, one is freeing the other is forced. Paul was not saying that loving other Christians was easy, after all the church is saturated with sinners and very few are lovable without some serious effort, including your pastor. I can say that in my church I know the Pastor and sometimes he can be hard to love! Seriously though he is a sinner just like you, but your love for him or anyone else can’t be based on them it has to be based on God’s love for you. You will never really love others until you have been loved. You can only love to the degree to which you have been loved. Is there someone you refuse to love in your church? Check the cross and see how much God put up with you when He loved you enough to send His only Son to die on your behalf. Is there someone you refuse to love at work? Go back to Calvary and notice the nails. You say you cannot forgive that family member who hurt you, look at the Saviors scars for you. It was His love for us that held Him there. How many of us are missing out on the joy of loving like Jesus because we are holding onto the hurts instead of His hand. Are you going to hold onto the grudges or the goodness of God? Paul didn’t just preach affection he practiced it by sharing what the Savior had done in his life.  You see love in response to someone who deserves love is reward, but love in response to being loved is reciprocity. That’s the love that Paul proclaimed and passed on to the Philippians and it’s the love we too can share. Are you practicing affirmation, are you basing your confidence in Christ’s ability to finish the work, are you pursuing community and are you proclaiming His affection?

Philippians 1:3-8

3 Every time I think of you, I give thanks to my God. 4 Whenever I pray, I make my requests for all of you with joy, 5 for you have been my partners in spreading the Good News about Christ from the time you first heard it until now. 6 And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. 7 So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart. You share with me the special favor of God, both in my imprisonment and in defending and confirming the truth of the Good News. 8 God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus.

In Acts chapter 16 Luke records Paul’s first missionary trip to Philippi and the people there who responded to a living relationship with the Redeemer Jesus Christ. As we consider the church congregation at Philippi we realize that they represent people from a wide and diverse walk. They included a wealthy merchant woman named Lydia and her household, a Greek slave girl, and the Roman jailer and his family. Not only were they diverse in ethnicity, but they could have been separated by their socioeconomic status. It was to this rich yet relationally diverse congregation that Paul wrote this joy-filled letter that called them to journey together in joy. Instead of their differences become barriers or causes for relational conflict they chose to come alongside and complement one another. Joy wasn’t based on being the same but on serving. Paul also wrote this letter to the Philippians from prison reminding us that true joy is not a surface emotion that depends on favorable circumstances. Joy is independent of outward conditions, and is possible even in the midst of adverse circumstances, such as suffering, persecution and prison. So how what can we learn from this letter about how to have joy in our relationships? First Paul didn’t just preach these principles he practiced them and the first is you need to:

• Practice Affirmation

Paul counts the Philippians as partners in the important work of spreading the good news of Jesus Christ. Paul didn’t just value others he expressed their value. Affirmation occurs when we see people as partners not problems. But this takes focusing on the family of God and not our feelings. I’m sure prison was not pleasant for Paul, yet he chose to find his pleasure in past and present partnerships not in a problem free life.   For Paul His affirmation wasn’t affected by affliction because his attitude wasn’t based on current circumstances but on Christ. He didn’t depend on a when and then thinking, when I get out of here or when it gets better. How many of us wait, and so waste time because we are living and leaning on a when and then mentality instead of on the Lord?  He didn’t wallow in the pit of worry, what if this or what if that happens. For a Christian life is not based on a worst case scenario it’s based on a winning Savior scenario. So you don’t have to spend your time wrapped up in your worry, are you going to practice affirmation or anxiety? Are you going to be paralyzed by fear or propelled by praise? Why do we work so hard on our worry when we could be worshipping? Why do we put so much more effort into pursuing a problem free life than we do in praising God for the people He has placed in our life? Paul chose to focus on people and praise not his prison and the problems. When Paul said that the Philippians were partners in the gospel, he was pointing out their valuable and needed contribution. They may not have preached but they had contributed through their practical help when Paul was in Philippi and through their financial support when he was in prison. If you want to experience joy in your relationships then begin by affirming the people God has called you to partner with. You cannot enjoy those you criticize, which is not to say that you need to overlook sin, or that you shouldn’t correct, but are you championing those close to you or just criticizing? No they are not perfect partners but they are God’s great and gracious gift, one you should not take for granted. Affirmation often takes the form of verbally praising the value and worth of others, yet affirmation can take many forms. It can be reflected in the treasure we call time, which can be given but never gotten back. When we take time to play with our kids, we are affirming that they are important. When we take time for those who hurt or need help we are affirming their importance. Have you become too busy to bless those closest to you? Are you too busy preaching to actually practice. Many of us don’t have time to affirm others because we are tied up trying to get others to affirm us. Paul’s purpose in writing wasn’t to get affirmation but to give it.  Our affirmation can be revealed when we see the potential in others and patiently invest in them. Or when we protect purity and choose to love instead of lust, we are affirming the value and beauty of our bride. Do you have an attitude of affirming, are you verbally valuing others, are you taking the time to treasure them? Affirmation calls our appreciation to become active, to be seen as we show people that they are special and significant.  Appreciation serves others it isn’t selfish, Paul didn’t focus on self and his needs he participated in prayer for others. He made praying for others a priority. Paul was thankful for God’s team, instead of taking them for granted he saw them as a gift. One of the greatest killers of affirmation is anger, Instead of showing others how much they mean we are mean. This week don’t just preach affirmation practice it with your partners. Take time to share your appreciation for your family, prayer for and with the partners God has given you.

• Place your Confidence in Christ

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” Paul placed his confidence in Christ, his attitude of affirmation wasn’t based on circumstances but in the confidence that Christ would complete the work. Paul was confident that the Philippians would remain faithful and continue to preach the gospel while he was in prison. Because his confidence was not in the Philippians or even in himself, but in the One who began the good work. Here is one of the most freeing facts for your relationships, where or in whom we place our confidence determines how much joy we have in our relationships. What often ruins relationships is the inappropriate placement of confidence. What if you were placing all your confidence in your pastor to grow the church, to meet your needs and be there when you needed him most? Many have become disappointed and dissolution not because their pastor was the problem but because their placement of confidence was wrong. This is not neglecting the responsibilities of the pastor, it’s just recognizing that he is not where we should be putting our confidence. Likewise what if your pastor place his confidence in you to be there when he need you. Or to change when he taught you truth, or to serve others without complaining? How long would he last before discouragement drained him? No it’s not that I’m a pessimist, it’s that my bible gives me an accurate assessment of humanity. Do you have a correct placement of confidence? Many of us are relationally resentful because we have placed our hope in the human. Not placing our confidence in each other is not to say that we don’t count on each other or try to follow through with our commitments. No the problem becomes that we end up place the emphasis on perfection and people are not perfect. There becomes no room for reality and therein lies the relational ruin. We will forget something important, like a wedding anniversary, or a birthday, our kids may fail to act their age or for that matter so may we. We may desire to be promise keepers but we may become promise breakers. It is here that many lose their joy because they end up focusing on the junk. They get wrapped up in wrongs instead of the Word. You see the correct placement of our confidence in God frees us to enjoy each other and rejoice in our relatively rare successes. I can relax and enjoy my relationships because the God who began the good work in us will continue it throughout our lifetime and will finish it when we meet the Father face to face. Are you policing or placing your confidence in Christ ability to change? Police pull you over to point out the problems, Paul focused on praise and pray. Where have you placed your confidence and who are you praising?