Romans 14:19-23

19 Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification. 20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All food is clean, but it is wrong for a person to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother or sister to fall. 22 So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who does not condemn himself by what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if they eat, because their eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.

It’s not easy to jettison our judgmental attitudes, or disagree and not be disagreeable, but we are called to care and come alongside each other not run over and run into each other. Paul now turns his focus on four positive and productive ways we can build each other up:

• Pursue harmony and be helpful.

“Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” If we let love limit our liberty and compassionately care for others like Christ, we will want to pursue peace and look for ways to edify everyone. Notice that Paul uses the word “us” including himself in the call to edify, and teaching us the truth that we are called to practiced what we preach. He doesn’t call us to a casual care but to  “make every effort” which means to press hard, to pursue with perseverance in order to obtain an objective. It’s the picture of a runner in a race giving their all to reach the goal. Pursuing peace is not a picnic, it takes effort to extinguish animosity and edify another. Again we see that this pursuit of peace is in the present tense which means that it’s a permanent pursuit that requires daily diligence. It’s the call to a lifestyle of love that requires minute-by-minute maintenance. Peace here means to “join or bind together what has been separated.” In Matthew 5:9 Jesus said: “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God.” Jesus didn’t tell us to be “peacekeepers,” but “peacemakers.” This means that we can’t be passive about peace we have to passionately pursue God’s plan edify. Edification is a construction term describing the build of a home brick by brick, or the improving of a structure to make it stronger. Just like home construction, there are times in our relationships that require building from the ground up and times that are more of a retrofit or remodel. So are you a constructor, or a destructor, do you build up or tear down? Are you build others back up or do you just back up? Our attitudes and actions will either strengthen or sabotage, our words aid or attack, wound or warm. Words have the power, Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that “The tongue can bring death or life” Are you teaching your tongue to speak words of praise or poison? Ephesians 4:29 reminds us: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Is my talk righteous or rotten, are your words wiping others out or whispering love and life?

• Don’t demolish those you disagree with.

The opposite of construct is to destroy and this is the word that Paul uses in verse 20: “Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food…” How are you treating others are you tearing down and taking advantage of others or treating them with care and concern? How often do we make the mistake of tearing down in our marriage, instead of showing how much our spouse means to us we are just mean. Now Paul repeats himself by saying “All food is clean, but it is wrong for a man to eat anything that causes someone else to stumble. It is better to not eat meat or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall.” Pay attention to the peace poisoning words, destroy, stumble, and fall, these are destruction not construction words. Are you bashing or building, are you making it about self or serving? Many of us in our relationships act more like we are trying to win first place in a demolition derby than be a disciple of Christ. Do you love people more than you love being right? The question is not, “Can I do this?” or “It’s my right” but rather, “If I do this, how will it affect another believer?” Our highest priority in relationships is not our right but doing what is right. The goal is giving grace not grabbing and getting, our focus should be on others edification not eradication. You can demolish and demoralize those with whom you disagree with or dare to dive deeper and discover the heart.

• Be careful with your convictions

There are certain truths that all believers must accept and abide by because they are clearly commanded in Scripture. These are the black and whites, but when we get into the grey areas we need to be careful calling others to come under our convictions. You may know what you have decided about different debatable topics so do them, but don’t dump them on everyone else’s doorstep. Verse 22 teaches us that the way of wisdom is prudent and sometimes private: “So whatever you believe about these things keep between yourself and God.” Your personal convictions are just that, personal and you need to remember that if they were meant for everyone, God would have made them clear for all Christians. Albert Barnes once said: “Be satisfied with cherishing your own opinions.” Remember, my response is my responsibility, and your response is your responsibility. This means letting go of the need to herd others hearts and letting God lovingly lead. In his book, Grace Awakening, Chuck Swindoll quotes an unknown author: “To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring; it means I can’t do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off; it’s the realization that I can’t control another. To let go is not to try to change or blame another; I can only change myself. To let go is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all outcomes, but to allow others to affect their own outcomes. To let go is not to deny, but to accept. To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.”

• If in doubt, throw it out.

Verse 22 and 23 tells us that if our conscience whispers a warning we should wake up and walk it out, and if we are in any doubt we should throw it out: “Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves. But the man who doubts is condemned if he eats, because his eating is not from faith; and everything that does not come from faith is sin.” Paul practiced what he preached in Acts 24:16 when he said: “So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man.” When in doubt its best to cut it out. So how do we make decisions in the debatable areas? Walking in the word will help us to cultivate a clear conscience and come back to the basics. So here are 12 basic bible tests to take when you are faced with determining what to do in those difficult and debatable times:

1. THE WORLD TEST. Is it worldly, or will it make me worldly (John 15:19, 1 John 2:15-17)?
2. THE QUALITY TEST. Is it good for me physically, emotionally, and spiritually (Romans 12:9b)?
3. THE TEMPLE TEST. Can I do it knowing that my body is God’s temple that must not be marred or misused (1Corinthians 6:19)?
4. THE GLORY TEST. Will it glorify God, or shame His name (1Corinthians 6:20, 10:32)?
5. THE BLESSING TEST. Can I honestly ask God’s blessing on it (Proverbs 10:22, Romans 15:29)?
6. THE REPUTATION TEST. Will it damage my testimony for truth (Philippians 2:15)?
7. THE CONSIDERATION TEST. Am I being considerate of others and the effect this might have on them (Romans 14:7, 21)?
8. THE APPEARANCE TEST. Will it look bad? Does it have the appearance of what is wrong sinful or suspicious (1Thessalonians 5:22)?
9. THE WEIGHT TEST. Could this activity slow or sidetrack me from running the Christian race (Hebrews 12:1, 1 Corinthians 9:24)?
10. THE COMING OF CHRIST TEST. Would I be ashamed to be found doing this when He comes again (1 John 2:28)?
11. THE COMPANION TEST. Can I invite Christ to join as we participate in this (Matthew 28:20b, Colossians 3:17)?
12. THE PEACE TEST. After having prayed about it, do I have perfect peace in participating (Colossians 3:15, Philippians 4:6-7)?

Is there anything that you need to throw out? How are you currently engaged in edification? Are you being careful with your convictions? Are you pursuing peace or problems? What if you were to place your relationships at a higher priority than the conflict and care for others like Christ calls you to?

Romans 14:13-18

13 Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister. 14 I am convinced, being fully persuaded in the Lord Jesus, that nothing is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for that person it is unclean. 15 If your brother or sister is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy someone for whom Christ died. 16 Therefore do not let what you know is good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18 because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and receives human approval.

As we continue to look at people peace Paul turns his attention to dealing with diversity. As he starts in verse 13 with the word “therefore” he ties together the first 12 verses and what he has just taught with what he still wants us to know. If he had ended with verse 12 we would get the impression that all we need to do is to stop judging and leave those who are different from us alone. But now Paul calls us to engage in those that are different and diverse, this is a call to be involved in the lives of others. Paul is reminding us that what we do and how we do it affects others. That even though we have liberty through Christ and don’t have to jump through a bunch of legalistic laws or follow a list of rules and regulations, that we don’t just get to do what we want. We may live in the land of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness but that doesn’t mean that we can live as we please. One of the reasons we live in conflicted community instead of Christian community is that we won’t practice the two principles of 1 Corinthians. One of which focuses on us and the other on them. 1 Corinthians 6:12 says: “You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is good for you. And even though “I am allowed to do anything,” I must not become a slave to anything.” We are to avoid those things that have the potential to master us, and second we must avoid those things that have the potential to mess others up: 1 Corinthians 10:23-24 states: 23 “You say, “I am allowed to do anything”- but not everything is good for you. You say, “I am allowed to do anything”—but not everything is beneficial. 24 Don’t be concerned for your own good but for the good of others.” Both of these truths are seen in Galatians 5:13: “You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.” Dealing with diversity means dealing with the truth that what I do affects you. Paul starts in the first 12 verses getting us to pay attention to our attitudes and now he calls us to:

• Analyze our Actions

Paul starts by calling us to let love limit our liberty. The first part of verse 13 says: “Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another…” We are to stop doing what we want, to stop being held by habit and give heed to God’s heart. Now Paul uses a play on words in the Greek, to say that if we want to judge then go for it, because there is someone that we need to judge, ourselves “…Instead, make up your mind…” this literally means, “Judge this instead” Paul calls us to curb some things in our life for the sake of Christ and Christian community. Our actions can cause adverse harm to others so first we need to make up our mind to remove the stumbling blocks. A “stumbling block” was anything that would cause someone to strike their foot and fall. This is a shift from attitudes to action, it’s a call to remove anything in the road that might trip those around us. It is why the church I’m in celebrates communion with grape juice instead of wine. Because we don’t want to cause those with an alcohol addiction to stumble in what should be spiritually significant. We must also obliterate the obstacles, these are the snares that trap instead of trip. Are there any obstacles you might be oblivious to, why not take the time to talk with those around you to make sure you are not tripping and trapping. We must also determine not to cause distress, verse 15 says :“If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love.” Liberty must be tempered by love because our attitudes and actions can have adverse effects on others. The word “distressed” here carries with it the idea of grieving, like when a loved one dies. When we throw around our freedom at the expense of others we become relationally reckless and the danger is in the damage we can do. We are urged to act in love, to lead out of love and not liberty, this is God’s agape love that chooses to act out of self-sacrifice so it can to serve. Next Paul reminds us to refuse to destroy our family, the last part of verse 15 says: “Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died.” The word “destroy” means to tear down, destruction is the activity of the devil, and it is the work of the wicked one Satan and not the saints. Paul uses the strong word “destroy” to remind us of the seriousness of the situation, when we destroy our spiritual siblings we are acting like the devil. If we are really serious about pursuing love, then we won’t let liberty lead us into limiting others by damaging and derailing them. Verse 16 reminds us of the bigger picture, that there is a world watching and we don’t just destroy and fracture the family, to not destroy our witness and make it worthless: “Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil.” Second we must

• Focus on eternal realities not on external regulations.

The focus shouldn’t be on whether we feel the freedom to eat meat or abstain but on the kingdom of God. Today in the church we like to focus our faith on our feelings and our freedom instead of on the Father. Verse 17 reminds us that “the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” It’s about kingdom living, its about the Lord not my likes. Instead of emphasizing our personal rights we’re to focus on righteousness. Are you majoring on what matters, kingdom living or minoring on miniscule matters, the disagreeable differences? It’s not the externals, but the eternals that must be first in our life. It’s interesting how we swing the wrecking ball from one extreme to another and instead of having balance there is brokeness. The church used to be caught up in the dos and don’ts of legalism but now we live in an anything goes church culture. Instead of legalism, we focus on license, where we think we can do anything we want. But in this passage Paul reins us in. We must limit our liberty for the sake of others and we must make sure we are allowing what really matters, the eternal and not the externals, to define and drive our lives. Verse 18 reminds us that we are called to live a life that pleases God and one in which others can praise: “Because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.” The word “serves” is the word “bondslave,” which means we belong to another and are seeking to obey their command. Liberty is best lived out by letting the Lord lead. We need to remember that we are striving for unity not uniformity. So how are you a unifier in your home, your workplace, your friends, your school, your neighborhood? We need to stop judging, giving in to gossip, and surrendering to slandering, instead we are to pursue peace. Proverbs 6:19 says the Lord finds detestable “a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.” Are you watching your words? When you hear others criticizing and complaining about another Christian are you calling them to account in love, and instead of joining in the judging are you journeying with them to go seek and speak to the one they are skewering?  Yes it is possible to be diverse and not divided.  We are different and distinct pieces of the puzzle, but variety is valuable because we have different gifts, abilities, and talents. We have a plethora of different personalities, totally different temperaments and thoughts, and often very opposite opinions. But God is not calling us to be the “same,” we’re called to be one. That means we can disagree without being disagreeable, we can have harmony even though we’re not homogeneous. So in what specific ways can you live bigger and love better? In order to live bigger, is there anything you need to give up or begin that you know would be beneficial? Is there anyone you’ve been denying love that is desperate for a deeper love? What liberty do you need to limit in order to love larger? Are there any activities you are engaged in that are adversely affecting those around you others? Are you willing to stop for the sake of serving your brother or sister in Christ? What do you love more your freedom or God’s family, what leads you your liberty or His love?