Moments in the life of a Pastor

Walking with God

Monthly Archives: June 2025


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7. Vices and Virtues – Part 3

Titus 1:5-9

“I left you on the island of Crete so you could complete our work there and appoint elders in each town as I instructed you. An elder must live a blameless life. He must be faithful to his wife, and his children must be believers who don’t have a reputation for being wild or rebellious. A church leader is a manager of God’s household, so he must live a blameless life. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered; he must not be a heavy drinker, violent, or dishonest with money. Rather, he must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must love what is good. He must live wisely and be just. He must live a devout and disciplined life. He must have a strong belief in the trustworthy message he was taught; then he will be able to encourage others with wholesome teaching and show those who oppose it where they are wrong.”

So let’s look at the Life of the Leader and see the Virtues vs the Vices. 

  1. Loving leader instead of a lording leader – Vs 6-7

He must not be arrogant, conceited and caught up in self but instead he should serve. Are you being bossy or are you being a blessing? This brings us to a leaders first focus, faithfulness instead of foolishness. Paul here points to 2 areas of faithfulness, first a leader must be:

A. Faithful to the Father – Manager of God’s house

Pastor this is not your church, its Christ’s. You are not the owner you are the steward. Which brings us to a challenging question, Am I making it about me or about the Messiah? Many leaders are in it for the position instead of the people. Great leaders are motivated by their love for the Lord and His church, they make it about serving not about self. Second an Elder must be:

B. Faithful to His Family –

An Elder is a manager not just of God’s house but also His own home. Paul provides two distinct focal points here, your wife and your children. Because how you treat your Bride will be how you treat the bride of Christ. If you are not being faithful to your own family what makes you think you will be faithful to your family of faith? Men how are you treating your wife? Are you treasuring her or trashing her. If you want to know what kind of leader you are getting just watch his wife. Because how he leads his wife will either reveal a loving leader or a lording one. As leaders we need to live a balanced life because it’s easy to get so focused on the church that you neglect your calling to your wife and kids. Many ministers get so busy feeding the flock that they forget to feed their family. We are called to be married to our wife not married to ministry. Unfortunately many ministers treat their ministry like their wife and their wife like a mistress. Paul goes on to say that our children should have a righteous reputation not a rebellious one. Sadly most churches interpret this as nothing more than the pastor’s kids being under control, but this is not about control it’s about care. God has commissioned you to care for your kids not just control your kids, to be a loving leader not a lording one. Rebellion is often the result of control without care. Why does it matter if the preacher’s kids are respectful or rebellious? Because if I can’t teach my kids to live out the truth how am I going to teach the church? For ministry to extend beyond one’s family it must first be established within one’s family. Many churches put unfair expectations on the pastors kids, crushing them under the weight of unrealistic and unhealthy demands and constant criticism. Rebellious kids are one of the worst reputations a church can have in its community. Love your Pastor’s kids, be kind to them and pray for them. Pastor’s don’t be carless with your kids take time to lovingly lead them.


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6. Vices and Virtues – Part 2

Titus 1:5-9

“I left you on the island of Crete so you could complete our work there and appoint elders in each town as I instructed you. An elder must live a blameless life. He must be faithful to his wife, and his children must be believers who don’t have a reputation for being wild or rebellious. A church leader is a manager of God’s household, so he must live a blameless life. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered; he must not be a heavy drinker, violent, or dishonest with money. Rather, he must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must love what is good. He must live wisely and be just. He must live a devout and disciplined life. He must have a strong belief in the trustworthy message he was taught; then he will be able to encourage others with wholesome teaching and show those who oppose it where they are wrong.”

Now when it comes to the “Biblical Expectations Of An Elder” I often hear people say, “What is it that Elders do anyway?” Among other responsibilities, the Bible lists six primary tasks.

Model Christian maturity. 1 Peter 5:3: “Not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock.” Leaders need to live it, its more than just talking truth it’s about walking truth out. More things are caught than taught. When doing a jigsaw puzzle it is always helpful to have a picture of what it is supposed to look like. Elders can provide that picture as they faithfully walk out the Christian life.   

Shepherd the sheep. 1 Peter 5:2: “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care…” One of the dangers of pastoring is that instead of shepherding the sheep we can become consumed with trying to get the sheep to take care of us. 

Feed the flock. 1 Timothy 5:17: “The Elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching.” You can’t teach what you have not learned. Today we have a lot of leaders who are trying to teach truth that they are not willing to walk out. Feeding means leading them to green pastures and still waters. God’s people need a meal not a snack. We can only feed others from a place of fullness, how well are you feeding on God’s word. Malnourished servants make lousy shepherds. Sheep also need time to digest what they have been fed. Are you providing space for silence and solitude or is it all just face paced ministry?

Refute the rebellious. Titus 1:9: “…Encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.” This is one of the tougher parts of the task and it requires being tough minded but tender hearted. You don’t need to go looking for conflict but don’t be afraid of it when it comes your way. We are called to pastor people not be people pleasers. 

Manage church matters. 1 Timothy 3:5: “If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of the church of God?” Pray for your Elders this can be a time consuming thing.

Intercede for the ill. James 5:14: “Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.” When we are ill it is a great comfort to have people who love us and are willing to come and pray with us. Elders are not mind readers, if you are sick you need to let them know. Notice scripture tells us that the one who is sick or their family should call the Elders.