Moments in the life of a Pastor

Walking with God

35. Marriage – God’s Masterpiece or manmade misery – Part 3

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1 Peter series – “Holding onto Hope in a Hostile World”

1 Peter 3:1-7

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over by observing your pure and reverent lives. Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

·      COMPANIONSHIP – “as you live together”

This is more than just living together its loving together. In the day and age in which Peter penned these words husbands were generally uninterested in being friends with their wives. This command was counter-cultural. Peter is telling us to “Enjoy life with your wife!” what a counter cultural call in the day in which we live, where society encourages the struggle of the sexes. Where our world expects marriage to be more misery than magic. After everything that God created it says God saw that it was good, that is until God looks at man alone and says, “it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So God created a companion for Adam to converse with, a friend in whose company he could take delight. Eve was created as a special gift not as servant. She was not made out of Adam’s head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be next to his heart and be loved. Are you cultivating companionship?  Are you spending time together, face to face time not tv or technology time. Many of us are more tethered to technology than we are to each other.

·      CARE – “She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”

The particular word translated “wife” is used only here in the New Testament and means “womanly or feminine.” This helps us understand what it means to be the “weaker vessel.” This word “weaker” certainly does not mean weaker morally or intellectually but refers to the fact that in general, men are stronger physically than women. A husband is not inherently better or more special than his spouse. We’re equal in spiritual footing and eternal importance we are heirs together of the grace of life. The word “vessel” describes an object hollowed out for the purpose of containing something and weaker vessel doesn’t mean lesser it actually refers to finer, and was used to describe fragile pottery that was priceless. The idea behind “weaker vessel” is that a woman is extra special and valuable. This actually has to do with how a man cares for his wife, we are called to treat women with value and respect. As men we can be hard and harsh but guys God is calling you to be gentle when you handle her heart. Look when you are washing the dishes you will be more careful with fine china than when you are washing Tupperware, that is unless you want to break something. Are you being careful or carless with her heart? Now this passage isn’t calling you to be a pansy, you can still be a real man just don’t be a moron. Today instead of men living on mission for God we have moved to one of two extremes either Bullies or Bums. Today men have traded their call, instead of tending the garden they are either Tyrannical or Timid, but God didn’t call you to be a rabid Dog or a scared Puppy. Today we see men that are either Brutes   or Babies, the iron Fist or the Cold Feet. Men that hurt or men that hide, men that are either Heartless or Spineless, men that attack or men that abandon. Men that are scary or scared, Jerks or Jokes. We are not just to care for her but be careful in our care because before God how you treat your spouse is serious business. How you handle her heart can hinder your prayer life, and a prayer less life is a powerless life. The word “hindered” was used of digging a trench to stop the enemy’s advance. Satan will dig a trench if you ignore or mistreat your wife. You’ll fall into a ditch and not be able to go forward. Your prayers will feel flat and futile if there’s friction in your marriage. Bitterness will put up a barrier. Conflict with your wife can affect communication with God.

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