Moments in the life of a Pastor

Walking with God

Monthly Archives: October 2024


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36. Marriage – God’s Masterpiece or manmade misery – Part 4

1 Peter series – “Holding onto Hope in a Hostile World”

1 Peter 3:1-7

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives. 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. 7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

Now a Word to Wives

·      COOPERATE – “wives must accept the authority”

God plans for couples to cooperate and the word submit means to voluntarily line up under for the sake of order. It means to work together and champion the Lords call on your husband to lead. Notice that wives are not called to submit to someone else’s husband. As already stated this does not mean that husbands are better than wives. It’s a matter of roles in the relationship. In short, according to Ephesians 5, husbands are to provide loving leadership, following the example of Christ and wives are to willingly follow that leadership in the home. This is an attitude of cooperation because without it marriage moves into chaos. Just like with the husband it is a command in the present tense, meaning it’s something that must become a continual practice. But the key to developing a spirit of submission is to first be surrendered and submitted to the Lord. According to Ephesians 5:22-24, marriage is intended to reflect Christ and the church. The Bible clearly teaches that as the Church submits to Christ, wives are to submit to our husbands. It is a picture of His love relationship with the Church, not a curse on the Church. Are you coming together to cooperate or control? Wives have much to contribute to the relationship but it will only work when there you chose to collaborate. 

·      CHASTE CONDUCT – “your godly lives will speak to them without any words”

Win your husband over with your walk not just your words. Women let’s be honest when your husband doesn’t respond your temptation is to nag. But sometimes words can get in the way, unspoken acting is more powerful than unperformed speaking.” It was Ralph Emerson who said, “Who you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying. Now I want to be careful in my choice of words as we tackle the topic of chaste conduct, because there are younger people in our services. But are you aware that the #1 genre of eBooks is erotica? The pornography and erotic industry produces more net yearly revenue than Microsoft, Apple, Google, Amazon, Ebay, Yahoo and Netflix combined. A recent best seller and money maker was a book called 50 Shades of Grey, it offers a counterfeit and satanic substitute to what a woman is truly looking and longing for. Instead of 50 shades of grey Peter is calling us to pull back the shades and seek purity in an age of promiscuity. Chaste conduct isn’t just about words but what you wear.

 CULTIVATE THE HEART – “Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty”

While there’s nothing wrong with looking nice, Christian women are called to cultivate the heart. How much time do you spend primping and preparing your outer beauty vs your inward beauty. Do you cater more to cosmetics or character? Women worry about how they look and the world capitalizes on that that worry by making massive amounts of money on makeup. There have been many famous women who have emphasize the outward because they are empty on the inside. But according to scripture an outwardly beautiful woman who lacks inner beauty and character is actually ugly. Proverbs 11:22: “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion.” Peter says that the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit will not fade away, there is no Botox needed to keep that kind of beauty. Peter describes this beauty as gentle and quiet. Gentle is one of the 9 fruits of the Spirit and means, “strength under control.” Quiet refers to being tranquil not combative. Do you spend as much time cultivating your inner life as you do cosmetically beautifying your outward life? Scripture gives us the example of Sarah who Genesis 12:11 says was “a woman of beautiful countenance.” But what set her apart was that she adorned herself inwardly and determined to follow he husbands God-given leadership, even when it didn’t make sense to her.

·      CAREFUL – “do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.”

God’s goal is for you to be a doer of good, again, a wife’s witness comes primarily through works, not her words. Just as a husband is called to be careful in his conduct so is a wife.


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35. Marriage – God’s Masterpiece or manmade misery – Part 3

1 Peter series – “Holding onto Hope in a Hostile World”

1 Peter 3:1-7

In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives. 3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They put their trust in God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do. 7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

·      COMPANIONSHIP – “as you live together”

This is more than just living together its loving together. In the day and age in which Peter penned these words husbands were generally uninterested in being friends with their wives. This command was counter-cultural. Peter is telling us to “Enjoy life with your wife!” what a counter cultural call in the day in which we live, where society encourages the struggle of the sexes. Where our world expects marriage to be more misery than magic. After everything that God created it says God saw that it was good, that is until God looks at man alone and says, “it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” So God created a companion for Adam to converse with, a friend in whose company he could take delight. Eve was created as a special gift not as servant. She was not made out of Adam’s head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be next to his heart and be loved. Are you cultivating companionship?  Are you spending time together, face to face time not tv or technology time. Many of us are more tethered to technology than we are to each other.

·      CARE – “She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.”

The particular word translated “wife” is used only here in the New Testament and means “womanly or feminine.” This helps us understand what it means to be the “weaker vessel.” This word “weaker” certainly does not mean weaker morally or intellectually but refers to the fact that in general, men are stronger physically than women. A husband is not inherently better or more special than his spouse. We’re equal in spiritual footing and eternal importance we are heirs together of the grace of life. The word “vessel” describes an object hollowed out for the purpose of containing something and weaker vessel doesn’t mean lesser it actually refers to finer, and was used to describe fragile pottery that was priceless. The idea behind “weaker vessel” is that a woman is extra special and valuable. This actually has to do with how a man cares for his wife, we are called to treat women with value and respect. As men we can be hard and harsh but guys God is calling you to be gentle when you handle her heart. Look when you are washing the dishes you will be more careful with fine china than when you are washing Tupperware, that is unless you want to break something. Are you being careful or carless with her heart? Now this passage isn’t calling you to be a pansy, you can still be a real man just don’t be a moron. Today instead of men living on mission for God we have moved to one of two extremes either Bullies or Bums. Today men have traded their call, instead of tending the garden they are either Tyrannical or Timid, but God didn’t call you to be a rabid Dog or a scared Puppy. Today we see men that are either Brutes   or Babies, the iron Fist or the Cold Feet. Men that hurt or men that hide, men that are either Heartless or Spineless, men that attack or men that abandon. Men that are scary or scared, Jerks or Jokes. We are not just to care for her but be careful in our care because before God how you treat your spouse is serious business. How you handle her heart can hinder your prayer life, and a prayer less life is a powerless life. The word “hindered” was used of digging a trench to stop the enemy’s advance. Satan will dig a trench if you ignore or mistreat your wife. You’ll fall into a ditch and not be able to go forward. Your prayers will feel flat and futile if there’s friction in your marriage. Bitterness will put up a barrier. Conflict with your wife can affect communication with God.