Exodus 20:17-18

“You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.”¹⁸ When the people heard the thunder and the loud blast of the ram’s horn, and when they saw the flashes of lightning and the smoke billowing from the mountain, they stood at a distance, trembling with fear.”

As we continue in our series “Relationship not Rules” we come to the 10th and final command “You must not covet your neighbor’s house. You must not covet your neighbor’s wife, male or female servant, ox or donkey, or anything else that belongs to your neighbor.”  The literal meaning of the word “coveting” is “to pant after” – like my dog does when I eat potato chips or buttered popcorn!Coveting is a dissatisfaction and discontent with what God has provided and a longing desire for what He has forbidden to us. Why is converting so catastrophic, because nothing destroys peace in our lives like the myth of more.  It ruins relationship because we make what we possess more important than people. We end up chasing after more instead of the Master. This last command reveals 2 hearts and 2 headings, a coveting or a controlled heart that will either lead us down the path of pain or one of Godliness and gain. The tenth commandment causes us to contend with the question, do I have a coveting heart or a controlled heart? My prayer as we conclude this series is that God would reveal our coveting hearts and replace them with controlled hearts.

1. COVETING HEART

US advertisers spent $220 billion in 2018 because they know that they can make people want what they have. They make it look like everyone else has it and are now happy. The problem is that coveting puts our focus in the wrong place and on the wrong person. Exodus 10:17 reminds us that coveting is not confined just to people, personal relationships, possessions that make life easier or more prestigious, we can covet anything. 1 John 2:15 says: “Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.”All these things that we can covert have one thing in common, they are all part of this life and they are temporary. They are a part of the world that we will leave behind when we die, they are earthly not eternal. So, the question we should be asking is not “What am I building here?” but “What am I sending on ahead into eternity?” Part of the problem for a lack of peace in our lives is that we are consumed with coveting, so we are never content. We need to investigate our own hearts, and deal with our destructive desire for more, because coveting is:

A. Corrupting

Coveting creates a barrier between us and others. Romans 13:9 says: “The commandments, “Do not commit adultery,” “Do not murder,” “Do not steal,” “Do not covet,” and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this one rule: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”Our attitude toward others should be one of love not lust, but it’s hard to love someone who is standing in the way of you getting what you think will bring you happiness and satisfied. Love is characterized by self-sacrifice not by self-gratification. Romans 12:15 tells us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn”. Instead of rejoicing with others a selfish covetous spirit causes us to get envious when our neighbor gets something we would want, like a new car or a raise at work. This same covetous spirit causes us to secretly rejoice inside when that new car that they just bought gets banged up in a fender-bender. Covetousness causes me to mourn when others rejoice and rejoice when they are mourning. It twists the truth in our lives, creating a spirit of competition and comparison rather than caring and cooperation. A loving spirit allows me to be glad when someone else is blessed because the focus does not rest on me but on relationship. At its root coveting corrupts relationship. In 2 Samuel 11:1-4 we read a very familiar story about coveting: “In the spring of the year, when kings normally go out to war, David sent Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites. They destroyed the Ammonite army and laid siege to the city of Rabbah. However, David stayed behind in Jerusalem.² Late one afternoon, after his midday rest, David got out of bed and was walking on the roof of the palace. As he looked out over the city, he noticed a woman of unusual beauty taking a bath. ³ He sent someone to find out who she was, and he was told, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” ⁴ Then David sent messengers to get her; and when she came to the palace, he slept with her. She had just completed the purification rites after having her menstrual period. Then she returned home.”David didn’t just covet the wife of one of his greatest warriors he corrupted her. David should have been at war but instead of fighting the good fight of faith David choose to feed his flesh. Instead of leading he was being lazy. Let me ask you are you leading or being lazy? Because a lazy life leads to a lusting life. We start focusing on the flesh and what others have instead of what God has blessed us with. Most of us know the end of this story. Bathsheba got pregnant so David tried to coverup his sin by bringing her husband home from battle and sending him home that way it would look her husband got her pregnant. ButUriah didn’t go home. He slept that night at the palace entrance with the king’s palace guard. Because he knew that the Ark and the army’s of Israel were living in tents out on the field of battle. David even tried to get him drunk! But when that didn’t work David had him killed in battle and took Bathsheba to be his wife making everyone think he was the benevolent king. Look how quickly his sin snowballed out of control. His lusting didn’t just result in lies but cost people their lives. But where did the problem start? Coveting, and instead of confessing his coveting heart he tried to cover it up. What about you is there any coveting present in your life?

Exodus 20:16 – “You must not testify falsely against your neighbor”

Matthew 18:15-17

“If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back. ¹⁶ But if you are unsuccessful, take one or two others with you and go back again, so that everything you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses. ¹⁷ If the person still refuses to listen, take your case to the church. Then if he or she won’t accept the church’s decision, treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax collector.”

Instead of bearing a false testimony as believers we should be:

2. Bearers of Freedom and Truth

A. Truth

So, what do you do if you struggle with lying lips, well the cure is found in Ephesians 4:25 “So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.” The antidote to lies is to tell the truth. This is what I call a Replacing principle. Our problem is that instead of applying the replacing principle we try to use the removing principle. We focus on removing lies instead of replacing them with truth. God’s Word focuses on replacing lies with the truth, why because when you do you displace the lies. When you find yourself lying replace it with the truth. If I had a bottle of water that was only half full of water and the other half was filled with air how would I remove the air? The most effective way would not be to try and squeeze the air out but to fill it up with water. When I do there is no room for the air. The same is true with our lives we need to fill them up with the truth of God’s Word so that there is no room for the lies. Are there any lies in your life that need to be replaced by the truth? Truth is not only designed to help us walk right in a crooked world, but it can also set free other broken people and restore broken relationships. When we have relational rifts God’s Word calls the two parties involved to sit down and work it out with truth prevailing, but truth that is designed to heal not hurt. Matthew 18 prescribes a Godly process for dealing with brokenness in an honest way that will bring glory to God and restoration to our relationships. Yet rather than deal with relational rifts many of us avoided conflict, why because conflict is not comfortable. And as Americans many of us value comfort more that we do obeying Christ. Now while some are conflict avoiders’ others are conflict creators, they don’t just love drama they live for drama. When there are broken relationships we are called to the uncomfortable work of restoration. How do we do that, well look with me at God’s prescription for people peace in Matthew 18:15-17:

1. Talk in Private

Our problem is that we want to talk about people instead of talking to people. This is Face to face communication not Facebook comments. Are you being confidential or carless, because being reckless and running your mouth rarely results in restored relationships. If you want to restore relationship then make it personal, go to the person. Is there anyone you need to talk to instead of talking about?

2. Take others along

But only if they refuse to respond rightly. And we need to be careful who we take with. What’s the goal, restoration that means we need to choose mature believers not just people who will agree with us. They are witnesses to truth not your warriors to twist their arm and defend your feelings. Mature believers base their decisions on the bible not on feelings.

3. Tell it to the church

Go to the Pastor and Elders of your church. But only after you have followed the first steps. Do you see how important restoring relationships are?

4. Treat them as an unbeliever

If they still refuse to repent, we are to exclude them. This step can seem callous and uncaring because it is countercultural. But how much of what Christ taught was countercultural? Why does this command of Christ feel wrong to us because in our culture we tend to value the individual above the group, but the Bible values the community above the personal. Albert Mohler makes a painful point when he writes: “No longer concerned with maintaining purity of confession or lifestyle, the contemporary church sees itself as a voluntary association of autonomous members with minimal accountability to God, much less to each other.”Why would we treat them like an unbeliever, because they are acting like one, refusing not just to listen to truth but to live it. The idea is that exclusion will cause the believer to repentant, in the meantime we are to wait with open arms ready to receive them as soon as they repent. Are you pursing this Matthew 18 principle or are you following the worlds way? Because when we follow God’s Word and do it His way, we see the power of truth to:

B. Transform

Notice the goal is to win them back not to win. Win them back to what, your way of thinking? NO, Win them back to the truth. So often we make the goal based on our feelings not the Father. It’s not about what I want but what Jesus wants. Our flesh wants to make it about us winning but the Father wants to make it about truth winning. Because when truth wins people are transformed, but when we win someone has to lose. What do you value more being right or restoring relationship? Winning or wining back? Are you focused on the temporary feel good of winning or the transformation of people being won over? If we are not careful, we will make it about the justification of our feelings instead of the transformation power of truth. But to be won over and restored there has to be repentance. Our problem is that we want repentance without restoration. But that is a false gospel. God calls us to deal honestly with one another and when we do, we will see a transformation not only in the Church but in our culture. The 9th commandment calls us to honor God by honoring the truth in ways that build up and not tear down. The fabric of all healthy relationships is woven with truth. Lying tears this fabric apart and so destroys all trust and confidence in one another. My prayer is that through God help we will speak the truth in love and raise the banner of honesty to the level of “normal” again. So that as His people we will bear the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth – so help us God! What about you is your talk one of truth or is it truth mixed with trash?