1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is not jealous or boastful”

Paul’s painting of love reveals a contrasting picture of both what love is and what it is not.  He exposes both the positives of what it is against the negatives of what it’s not. This contrast consists of one pair of positives, patience and kindness, followed by four negative pairs, revealing the eight loveless qualities that stifle true love. These are the killers of love and where they are present love is absent, they are not just opposed to love they are the real enemies of love. The first two

• Jealous

This comes from the Greek word meaning to boil and is used to express any wrong feeling when viewing the good of others.  Love is in sharp contrast to jealousy because its focus is not just outward toward others but also rests its eyes on their good.  Jealousy fakes real love by being outward in its focus but if we look closer we will see that what it locks its eyes on will always be self. Jealousy always looks at what it doesn’t have and results in a focus of envy and this final resting place of focus is where envy and jealousy reveal their true colors. They look to others but their focus is rooted in self, whenever it looks to others it’s always in the light of what they have that it wants. Jealousy is an emotion that wells up in a feeling of ill will that begrudges others based on the supposed advantages they have over us. Because of jealousy’s focus it will always pit us against others, draining our energy as we compete instead of complete others. True Love however is not in competition with others and frees us to come alongside others and celebrate their gifts over our gaps.  The truth is that when you attempt a good work there will be others doing it better and we do not have to be jealous or envious of them we can be grateful for them. Envy is an old world sin that survived the flood as a stowaway in the hearts of sinful man. It was Eve who was envious of God, wanting to know what He knew and Satan used that to seduce her. Her son Cain was envious of his brother Abel’s acceptable sacrifice, it was worship envy that hatched the first murder. Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery because of envy, Daniel was thrown into the lion’s den because of the jealousy of his fellow officials in Babylon. So how do we guard against this envious jealousy? With love that does not resent the blessings, successes, or well-being of others. Love is generous and we need to fortify ourselves with its loftiness of spirit and its great magnanimity, so we can live in the contentment of who we are, with what we have and where we’re at. It is the generosity of love that allows us to relax into who we are and do our best for the Master as we serve those around us.

• Boastful

This comes from the Greek word meaning  vain glory, in Greek literature it is used of a talkative, self-asserting braggart who puts on a show or an outward display. Boastful people are those who live to listen to the sounds of their own praise. Love however is modest, it willingly puts a seal upon the lips and is satisfied to forget all of its accomplishments.  What if we lived in a way that whenever we were wrong we admitted it and whenever we were right we would shut up. Paul says that humility is a key in our love relationship and yet, humility is often disparaged today. We have traded in modesty and replaced it with boasting in an attempt to meet our ever increasing need to feel good about ourselves. We crave being noticed in our attention deficit society, and in an attempt to fill the void created by our relationally empty world we hold up our temporal accomplishments saying “look at me”. Boasting is an attempt to cater to self-need which consumes its focus down to one, breeding  a narrowed and limited concern. Politicians brag about what they have done, trying to assure us that if we would vote for them that they could and would accomplish even more. Advertisers encourage us with the simple message “you deserve the best today. So go ahead and get it.” We are not a modest people but a mob of one crying out in our empty existence “Look at ME”. Lasting satisfaction in this life does not come from what we can do because our accomplishments always fade into yesterday. When we live for what we do we step onto the endless treadmill of self-effort that requires constant work without really getting anywhere. Why do we boast, it’s for the feel good and so that we can encourage others to feed our feelings of self. But self-esteem that satisfies is not a product of boasting but of love. It starts with Jesus’ love for us, a love so amazing that He died for us and has forgiven us and now calls us His kids. I’m somebody not because I say that I am but because the Creator of the universe says that I am. You will never out brag you’re Father and it’s because of a deep relationship with Him based on desperation that we are filled and the need for boasting dies.  We begin to become like Jesus who did His deeds of love for the glory of His heavenly Father and not for self and the eyes of ears of men.

Our bodies are made out of the dust and one of these days these bodies that we pampered and admire will return to the dust. A hundred years from now, for most of us, no one will even remember our names, our flesh will become the earth that people walk on and the weeds grow over. Mortality helps to keep our accomplishments in check but while we are living we must remember our own fallibility. We make mistakes and decisions that are wrong, we say things that are stupid and we do embarrassing things. If we are honest and take a realistic look in the mirror we will see that when it comes to us there really isn’t that much to boast about. Compared to Jesus what world stopping life changing thing have we really accomplished? He came He conquered, He did it all and He said look at my Father. Who are you bragging about, your feeble failures or your Father?  Few things are more noticeable to a watching world than those who keep the focus on their Father and are gracious not only in defeat but also in victory.

1 Corinthians 13:4 “Love is kind”

As Paul continues to reveal the full spectrum of love we not only see it in all of its rich color but we hear the melody of its song. 1 Corinthians 13 is both a rainbow and a hymn of love revealing its positive actions and contrasting our negative ones. The first two descriptions are a pair of positives followed by four pairs of negatives. We have already seen the first partner in this positive pair, patience, the elasticity of love and its ability to suffer long.  The second side to this positive pair is:

• Kindness

Patience and kindness can be described as two sides of the same coin, the passive and active aspects of the same character trait. Patience involves staying our hands and mouths for the good of others, where kindness involves the active sense of spontaneous action done for the good of others. Kindness is love in action which seems to be in sharp contrast to patience and its virtuous ability to wait. Kindness’ active character is problematic in a world that wants to measure kindness by intentions instead of actions. If we were to be deeply moved after seeing pictures of starving children and say, “Someone ought to do something about that” we can’t consider ourselves as being kind based on being moved by what we saw because kindness is grounded in action not feeling.  Kindness always moves in the direction of the need, toward the problem, seeking to help, heal and resolve.

Kindness takes love on the road, it works for the welfare of the one loved and must be experienced through action for there is a great need for this world to see kindness exemplified. In December 1944, when the German army launched the surprise Battle of the Bulge, Major General Maxwell D. Taylor, commander of the 101st Airborne Division, was away, attending a staff conference in the United States. In Taylor’s absence, acting command of the 101st and its attached troops defending Bastogne, Belgium fell to General Anthony Clement McAuliffe. The German commander with a considerably larger force, surrounding the Americans sent a message encouraging their surrender.  After reading the message McAuliffe replied with one word “Nuts”.  Surrounded by the enemy he said, we have been afforded the greatest opportunity for we can attack in any direction! Where most would have given in and surrendered he soldiered on for he saw the opportunity of being surrounded by the enemy. The question is, do we? Today surrounded by suffering and pain we have been afforded the greatest opportunity for we can be kind in any direction and hit the mark. In this cruel world, we are presented with plenty of opportunities all around us to be kind toward others, to demonstrate this critical quality of love to a world which knows so little of love.

Sometimes kindness will cost you something, because kindness dares to be vulnerable as it meets the needs of others.  This is seen in the price paid by God as He loved us with kindness. As He looked at the human situation, what did He do? He became one of us; laying aside His glory He willing clothed Himself in flesh. He walked with us, wept with us, fed and healed us, showing us how to live with each other. What was our response to this loving kindness, this position of vulnerability, what did man do? We exploited His vulnerable position and crucified Him. We nailed Him to a cross high on a hill for all to see and mock, saying “If you really are the Son of God, come down from the cross. He saved others, Himself He cannot save.” Here is the real love of God in that moment of vulnerability when we would have lash out in pain He instead unleashed power. Power to save, to heal, to mend the broken hearts & broken homes, power to forgive and forget our sins. Love is kind and kindness dares to be vulnerable, will you?

Kindness is vulnerable but it is not a push over for kindness is also tough. There are times when kindness must say to the alcoholic, “You must suffer the pains of withdrawal.” There are times when kindness must say NO and at these times this can appear to be unkind but in reality it is loving. There are times when kindness says to a spoiled child, “You can’t have it.” and what you really need is discipline. That’s kindness, it may not appear to be, but it is. So the great question becomes, “When is kindness to be tough, and when is it to be tender?” Paul doesn’t answer that, he simply says, “Love is kind.” and he leaves it there.  Jesus demonstrated both types of kindness, when He drove the moneychangers out of the temple He was being tough. When He told the Pharisees they were whitewashed tombs, beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones,” He was being tough. When He told them they were “walking around with beams in their eyes trying to pick specks out of other people’s eyes.” He was being tough. But was He being unkind? No, He was doing the kindest thing He could do, giving those living a lie the truth.  Then there were other moments when He demonstrated tender kindness, like when He walked underneath a sycamore tree and seeing an old tax-collector said “come down let’s go to your house”. He could have said, “Zacchaeus, you’re the scum of the earth, you have used your power to extort from almost everybody in the whole community.” And He would have been right. But instead He demonstrated tender kindness and Zacchaeus was changed forever.

The truth is we would rather act with the tough kindness and when it comes to being shown kindness we want the tender. We like those moments of tender kindness in Scriptures, like that man who carried the cross for Jesus because of He was tired and weary after His all-night trial and the brutality of His beatings. We say “that’s kindness” and we applauded Simon for carrying the cross for our Lord. But we forget the weight of that kindness, the heaviness of each step. Simon didn’t think about kindness, he acted and like the Good Samaritan, it will cost us. Kindness dares to carry the cross all the way to Calvary, will you?